1914

Follow the Crowd

[1st VERSE:] 
Look at the crowd up the avenue 
Oh, don't you know where they're going to? 
They're on their merry way
To turn night into day 
Dressed in their best, they're a happy mob 
Soon, to a tune, they'll be on the job 
If you care to join them
Just hurry along 

[REFRAIN:] 
Follow the crowd, follow the crowd 
Come with me, you're going to be so proud 
Don't stay behind, go where you'll find 
Thousands of dreamy Tango dancers 
Come, my honey, come! 
The drummer's drum 
Will make things hum!
The whole night long 
We'll dance away the blues 
Take an extra pair of shoes! 
Come, come, come, come and follow the crowd

[2nd VERSE:] 
You'll hear a jew'l of an orchestra! 
Best of the rest in America! 
Each syncopated beat 
Just goes right to your feet
Heirs, millionaires, all the best of them 
Glide side by side with the rest of them 
They'll be glad to meet you 
Just hurry along


I Love to Quarrel With You

[1st VERSE:]
Honey, cuddle near!
Come on over here
Pick a fuss with me
Pick a fuss with me!
There's a reason, my dear
Try and make me cross
Act just like a boss!
Pick a fuss with me
Pick a fuss with me
My honey, because

[REFRAIN:]
I love to quarrel with you
Making up is so nice
I love to make you cry
To kiss the tears away from your eye
I'm wild about you!
Can't live without you!
That's just the reason why I tease you
I love to hear myself saying
"I didn't mean it
I didn't mean it!"
When I've had a quarrel with you

[2nd VERSE:]
Honey, ain't it nice
To be cold as ice?
To be cold and then
To get warm again
Gee, it's nicer than nice!
Say that I'm to blame
I will say the same
Let's get mad and then
Let's make up again
It's all in the game


It Isn't What He Said, But the Way He Said It!

[1st VERSE:]
Happy, I'm so happy 
I could throw myself away
Some peculiar something
Keeps my heart a-jumping
Both night and day
Say!
Stupid Mister Cupid
Went and pierced me thro' the heart
I've been fascinated
Simply captivated
Captured from the start

[REFRAIN:]
It isn't what he said
But the way he said it
Made me fall
He spoke of wedding bells
Until it seem'd the knot was tied
He described an automobile
And it was just as good as taking a ride
The way he spoke of love
Set my heart a-bouncing like a ball
He told me of a kiss last week
So natural, I could feel it on my cheek
It isn't what he said
But after he said it
I had to love him, that's all

[2nd VERSE:]
Clever, he's so clever
You could never understand
Ev'ry word they carry
In the dictionary
Is at his command
And!
Peaches are his speeches
They're the finest in the land
He'll describe a jewel
In a way that you will
Feel it on your hand


This Is the Life

[1st VERSE:]
Farmer Brown came to town
Started to take in the sights
Cabarets, swell cafes 
Took up most of his nights
After seven days or so
After seeing ev'ry show
After meeting May and Flo
Farmer Brown remarked

[REFRAIN:]
I love the cows and chickens 
But this is the life, this is the life!
I love to raise the dickens!
While I'm Cabareting
Where the band is playing
I love the homemade cider
But I'd rather have wine
No more picking berries
Me for cocktail cherries!
This is the life, this is the life, this is the life for mine

[2nd VERSE:]
Missus Brown, out of town
Wrote to her husband and said
"Please come home, I'm alone!"
When her letter, he read
Farmer Brown took off his coat
Sat right down and then he wrote
To his wife a little note
This is what he said:


God Gave You to Me

[1st VERSE:] 
For ev'ry care there's an angel
Who makes the care seem small
For ev'ry pray'r there's an answer
For One Who answers all

[REFRAIN:] 
The flowers pray'd for sunshine
So God gave the flowers the Sun
The birds pray'd to be merry
So God gave a song to each one
The trees pray'd for the Springtime
So God gave the Spring to each tree
My lonely heart pray'd for someone
So God gave you to me

[2nd VERSE:] 
For ev'ry heart there is gladness
When eyes are wet with tears
For ev'ry care there's an answer
From One Who always hears


If You Don't Want My Peaches (You'd Better Stop Shaking My Tree)

[1st VERSE:]
Mary Snow had a beau
Who was bashful and shy
She simply couldn't make the boy propose
No matter how she'd try
Mary grew tired of waiting
So she called her beau one side
While he stood there biting his fingernails
Mary cried:

[REFRAIN:]
If you don't want my peaches
You'd better stop shaking my tree

Let me say that you're mighty slow
You're as cold as an Eskimo

There's a thousand others waiting
Waiting to propose to me

So, if you don't want my peaches
You'd better stop shaking my tree

[2nd VERSE:]
Mary's Pa and her Ma
Soon came into the room
They took a look at Mary's beau and cried
"You ought to be a groom
Of course, it's none of our bus'ness
But she'd make a lovely bride"
He just answered "I'll think it over" but 
Mary cried:


If I Had You

[1st VERSE:]
I never envied the rich millionaires
I never wanted to have what was theirs
I never bother about their affairs
As the others do
All that I want is a chance to be glad
I've grown so tired of being so sad
There's only one thing I wish that I had
That's you, just you

[REFRAIN:]
If I had you
To just be around when I'm blue
A "Four by Two" would be like a mansion on Fifth Avenue
I wouldn't change places with Carnegie!
And that goes for Rock'feller too!
They could keep all their troubles and "Automobubbles"
If I had you

[2nd VERSE:]
I never envied those rich millionaires
Who sit around in their silk-covered chairs
Any old sofa with someone who cares
It would more than do
Just you and me and I'd want nothing more
Maybe a baby to play on the floor
I'd have a whole lot to be thankful for
If I had you


Along Came Ruth

[1st VERSE:]
I had girls by the score
Yes, a hundred or more
Each one as nice as could be
It was hard to decide
Which I'd want for my bride
They all looked lovely to me
While I was trying to choose one
I met a wonderful girl
She came tripping along
Like a beautiful song
Setting my brain in a whirl

[REFRAIN:]
I was growing very fond of Molly
When along came Ruth, along came Ruth
I thought an awful lot of Dolly
When Ruth came along
My head began to "Merry-go-round"
I almost married Polly
I was making love to May
When along came Ruth
And to tell the truth
She stole my heart away

[2nd VERSE:]
There's a right little girl
With the right little curl
For ev'ry right little boy
When she comes, you'll forget
All the others you've met
Sorrow will turn into joy
She doesn't have to be pretty
She doesn't have to be wise
When she comes you will find
Tho' they say love is blind
She'll make you open your eyes


They're on Their Way to Mexico

[1st VERSE:]
They're gettin' ready
They're gettin' ready
We've had a row and now they're going to war
They've got their orders
To sail the waters
With heavy heart they start for a foreign shore
They're not excited
They're just delighted
To go and shake them, make them stand up and roar
Like they never did before

[REFRAIN:]
They're on their way to Mexico
Just see those Yankee fighters, foe exciters
Gettin' ready to go
They're on their way to win the day
Just take a look at those Yankee brothers
Waving to their grey hair'd mothers
Goodbye, they're leaving
Goodbye, stop grieving
Don't cry, they're glad to go
They'll make them run like a herd of cattle
They'll know they've had some battle
Way down in Mexico

[2nd VERSE:]
Come over near them
Come on and cheer them
They've got a right to fight this battle because
They've been invited 
To go and fight it
And so they're in to win and they'll never pause
Until they take 'em
And then they'll make 'em
With head erect, respect America's laws
Give three cheers for them because


He's a Devil in His Own Home Town

["Words by Grant Clarke and Irving Berlin, Music by Irving Berlin"]

[1st VERSE:]
I've got an uncle by the name of Jerry
He's got a farm, a great big farm
Two thousand acres of the very, very
Best land in the whole United States
He's got a reputation in the village
Known as a dude, a gosh darn dude
He would never do in New York City
But in his home town

[REFRAIN:]
He's a devil, he's a devil
He's a devil in his own home town
On the level, on the level
He's as funny as a clown
He spends a five cent piece, thinks nothing of it
His pants all creased, red vest above it
And when it comes to women, oh! oh! oh! oh!
He's a devil, he's a devil
Telling stories in a groc'ry store
On the level, on the level
Has 'em rolling on the floor
Down at the fair with all the other heckers
He received first prize for playing checkers
And he cheated
Can you beat it?
He's a devil in his own home town

[2nd VERSE:]
He's got an overcoat that's fine and furry
Gold-headed cane that came from Spain
They've even got him saying "I should worry"
Just like all the sporty city folks
You ought to see the way he spends his money
He bought a box of hole-proof socks
They would never do for New York City
But in his home town


The Haunted House

[1st VERSE:]
You see that vacant house
As quiet as a mouse
It's chock full of myst'ry
Besides, it has a hist'ry
The man who occupied
That building strangely died
No one wants to buy it, because
That house is

[REFRAIN:]
Haunted, haunted
Lanky, hanky, panky skeletons go sneakin' around

You see that boney, croney
I mean that boney skeleton
Hiding behind that statue
Look out, he's looking at you!
Listen!  Listen!
Tell me can't you hear him whistling
That Mysterious Rag so noted
He wrote it
In that rickety haunted house

[2nd VERSE:]
I often have been told
That there's a bag of gold
In the house that's haunted
I'm poor, but I don't want it
The doors are open wide
But no one steps inside
No one needs the money, because
That house is


If That's Your Idea of a Wonderful Time (Take Me Home)

[1st VERSE:]
Johnny took Geraldine out one night to show her a wonderful time
When they sat down in a Cabaret, he bought two cigars for a dime
"Bring us a couple of sodas" Johnny cried when the waiter drew near
After an hour Miss Geraldine whispered in Johnny's ear

[REFRAIN:]
If that's your idea of a wonderful time
Take me home, take me home
I want you to know that I'm choking
From that five cent cigar that you're smoking
You came out with a one dollar bill
You've got eighty cents left of it still
If that's your idea of a wonderful time
Take me home

[2nd VERSE:]
Johnny looked foolish and said "My dear, the evening has only begun
I'll take you down to a picture show where we'll have a barrel of fun
I know the fellow who owns the place, I'll ask him to pass us inside"
Geraldine looked into Johnny's face, shaking her head, she cried


I Want to Go Back to Michigan (Down on the Farm)

[1st VERSE:]
I was born in Michigan
And I wish and wish again
That I was back in the town where I was born
There's a farm in Michigan
And I'd like to fish again
In the river that flows beside the fields of waving corn
A lonesome soul am I
Here's the reason why:

[REFRAIN:]
I want to go back
I want to go back
I want to go back to the farm
Far away from harm
With a milk pail on my arm
I miss the rooster
The one who useter
Wake me up at four A.M.
I think your great big city's very pretty, nevertheless
I want to be there
I want to see there
A certain someone full of charm
That's why I wish again
That I was in Michigan
Down on the farm

[2nd VERSE:]
You can keep your cabarets
Where they turn nights into days
I'd rather be where they go to bed at nine
I've been gone for seven weeks
And I've lost my rosy cheeks
That's the reason I'd rather have the country life for mine
My thoughts are far away
That's just why I say:


Always Treat Her Like a Baby

[1st VERSE:]
See those sweethearts
They've just been married, they'll be leaving soon
They're getting ready to begin a lifelong honeymoon
See the old folks crowding around them
Gladness fills the room
Just hear the bride's old mother
Whispering to the groom

[REFRAIN:]
Treat her like a baby, for she's only a baby
When you take her with you, lad
You are taking all we had
I know she'll be a comfort to you like she's always been to me
So do be kind and keep unhappiness away
And when you find her golden hair is turning gray
Continue to treat her like a baby

[2nd VERSE:]
See those sweethearts
Rocking a cradle with a baby boy
After a year of wedded bliss, he came to bring them joy
Listen to them planning his future
Hear his father say
"I picture some girl's mother
Saying to him someday"


[double version:]
I would like to marry you, honey
-You don't mean it, dear
Honest and truly, won't you have me?
-You won't do, I fear
I've saved up a bundle of money
-Love you cannot buy
How can I make you love me?
-Dear, would you like to try?
Yes

-Treat me like a baby
You'll grow tired of it maybe
-Baby names just set me wild
I think you're a spoiled child
-At night when I grow tired and weary
I'll hold you on my knee
-And while I sleep
I'll keep the "boogie-man" away
-I'll never weep
And when your hair is turning gray
-Continue to treat me
Like a baby


He's a Rag Picker

[1st VERSE:]
Down in Alabama where the cotton grows
Lives a funny fellow by the name of Mose
He hasn't anybody he can pick upon
So he picks on a grand piano
Morning, noon and night you'll find him picking rags
I don't mean the kind of rags they put in bags
He doesn't own a junk shop
Just the same

[REFRAIN:]
He's a rag picker, a rag picker
All the livelong day
He bangs upon the piano keys 
In search of raggy melodies 
All day he's at the ivories
And while he dozes, he composes
Mister Moses makes an ordinary ditty sound so pretty
Like nobody can
Most any time of the day
You'll find him picking away
He's a rag picker, a rag picker
A ragtime picking man

[2nd VERSE:]
Moses' father told me that upon the morn
When his little piano playing boy was born
They didn't have a cradle they could put him in
So he slept on the grand piano
In a week they found him there upon his knees
Chewing on the highly polished piano keys
That very day his father
Loudly cried


That's My Idea of Paradise

[1st VERSE:]
It doesn't take a lot to make me happy
I'm easily satisfied
I never cared for grand affairs
Where ev'rybody puts on airs
I wouldn't pay a lot to own a mansion
It wouldn't be worth the price
Come and hear of my idea of Paradise

[REFRAIN:]
A little moonlight upon a June night
A little bench beneath a tree
One little squeeze of the hand
A squeeze in return, meaning, I understand
A sigh of "Oh sir, come over closer"
A little kissing, oh, so nice
And then a goodbye, dear
That's my idea of Paradise

[2nd VERSE:]
I never doubted anyone who told me
That Heaven is up above
Still, I would wager all I'm worth
That there's a Heaven here on earth
The gates of Paradise are ever open
Just listen to my advice
Any lover can discover Paradise


Furnishing a Home for Two

[1st VERSE:]
Honey, I've been thinking 
About the cozy little flat
The one we'll soon be looking at
To furnish up with this and that
Honey, I can picture
The happy smile upon your face
When we both get started
Furnishing up the place
My dearie

[REFRAIN:]
I'll hang the picture on the wall
You'll hold the chair so I don't fall
My honey
While I lay the carpet in the dining room
You'll be busy with a broom
I'll place the dishes on the shelf
You'll change them, dear, to suit yourself
When ev'rything is furnished there
We'll cuddle in the morris chair
We'll be such a happy pair
Furnishing a home for two

[2nd VERSE:]
You'll do all the shopping
'Twill help you pass the time away
That's how you'll spend most of the day
Including all my hard-earned pay
We will have a parrot
So when I have to go away
You will think I'm near you
I'll teach the bird to say
"I love you"


Stay Down Here Where You Belong

[1st VERSE:]
Down below
Down Below
Sat the devil talking to his son
Who wanted to go 
Up above
Up above
He cried, "It's getting too warm for me down here and so
I'm going up on Earth where I can have a little fun
The Devil simply shook his head and answered his son

[REFRAIN:]
Stay down here where you belong
The folks who live above you don't know right from wrong

To please their kings they've all gone out to war
And not a one of them knows what he's fighting for

'Way up above they say that I'm a Devil and I'm bad
Kings up there are bigger devils than your dad

They're breaking the hearts of mothers
Making butchers out of brothers
You'll find more hell up there than there is down below

[2nd VERSE:]
"Kings up there
They don't care
For the mothers who must stay at home
Their sorrows to bear
Stay at home
Don't you roam
Although it's warm down below, you'll find it's warmer up there
If e'er you went up there, my son, I know you'd be surprised
You'd find a lot of people are not civilized"


Revival Day

[VERSE:]
Brothers and sisters, misters and misses
Good people one in song
Come on down and jine the congregation at the old town hall
Johnson the speaker, he was the speaker
Come hear what he will say
Don't be slow, come let's go
This is revival day

[REFRAIN:]
Come and hear the congregation shouting
"Hallelujah, Hallelujah"

If you've misbehaved
Come, sinners and you'll all be saved

Raise your voices up to heaven shouting
"Hallelujah, Hallelujah"

Don't forget to bring your Bible
You won't regret, you know you're liable
To have your sins forgiven in that revival day


Hey, Wop

[1st VERSE:]
I got da husband he's so lazy
Sleep all da time and he make me crazy
Seven o'clock he's still in bed, dead
Good-a-ness me but he make-a me sore-a
Like-a da cannon he make da snore-a
Every morning, I
Got to wake him up and cry

[REFRAIN:]
Hey, wop
It's seven o'clock, get up
Sleep-a no more, sleep-a no more
You wake-a da kids when you make-a da snore
Hey, wop
Go to the barbershop
Take-a da razor and make-a da skip
Shave-a da face and collect-a da tip
What's dat?
You want your breakfast brought in da bed
Shut up, wop
I think you got the swell-a da head
You can sleep just as much as you like when you're dead
It's seven o'clock, get up

[2nd VERSE:]
While I get up and put on my clothes-a
He sing an opera through his nose-a
All-a da kids they holler "Pop, shut up"
When he begin to make da snore-a
All-a da neighbors who live next door-a
Holler, "Holy Mose!
Put a clothes pin on his nose"