1949

I'm Beginning to Miss You

I'm beginning to miss you
When you're away
Ev'ry moment that we're apart

I'm beginning to want you 
When you're away
And the wanting comes from my heart

I used to think that knowing you could never mean a thing
But now I stay home waiting for the telephone to ring

I'm beginning to love you
How do I know?
From the way I miss you when you're away


Miss Liberty (1949)


I'd Like My Picture Took

I'd like my picture took
What do I have to do to get my picture took?
Who do I have to be to get my picture took with you?

I'd like to spark with you
Having a plate develop in the dark with you
Nothing I wouldn't do to get my picture took with you

Me sittin' down, you standin' up
Lookin' at the birdie will be fun
Hands in my lap, yours on your chest
Just like Napoleon

And someday we'll take a look
Into a fam'ly album or a mem'ry book
'Stead of a boring evening, we'll be laughing at
The picture that I took with you


Most Expensive Statue in the World, The

Citizens of New York, I greet you
With the hundred thousand dollar check
The money that my readers have contributed
For the pedestal of the statue

Citizens of New York, I greet you
With the news that soon our flag will be unfurled
On the most expensive statue in the world
-On the most expensive statue in the world

When it's finally installed, tell us, what will it be called?
-When it's finally installed, tell us, what will it be called?
When we finally install it
What's the diff'rence what we call it?
It's the best that money can buy
And will stand three hundred feet high
And I understand before we're through the cost may not be known
A hundred thousand dollars for the pedestal alone
And our flag will soon be unfurled
On the most expensive statue in the world
-On the most expensive statue in the world

When it finally is claimed, tell us, what will it be named?
-When it finally is claimed, tell us, what will it be named?
When at last we come to claim it
What's the diff'rence what we name it?
What's important is the expense
What it means in dollars and cents
From the French across the ocean it was sent to me and you
And now I'd like to call upon and hear a word or two
From our friend the French ambassador

Your honor, I speak not for my government but my people
For it is not my government but my people who give this statue
Creation of the genius of Bartholdi
May it arise in your harbor and give the light of 
Liberty, equality, fraternity

Finally, when we install it, why don't we call it "Liberty"?
"The Statue of Liberty"!
-"The Statue of Liberty"!
And the most expensive statue in the world!
-And the most expensive statue in the world!


Little Fish in a Big Pond, A

[Horace:]
A little fish in a big pond has plenty of room to swim
But swimming around are big fish all ready to pounce on him

Back to his little pond he starts to roam
The little fish spreads his fins and begins to swim back home

That's me, a little fish in a big pond, all wrong
That's me, a little fish where a little fish don't belong

A little man in a big town gets butterflies in his dome
I'm ready to spread my fin and begin to swim back home
To the little pond where a little fish and a little man belong

[Maizie:]
A little fish in a big pond has gotta have lots of heart 
For swimming around are big fish, but if he's the least bit smart

Back to his little pond he doesn't go
The little fish spreads his fins and begins to grow, grow, grow

That's you, a little fish in a big pond, all right
Me too, a little fish, but we gotta stand up and fight

A little man in a big town don't have to get out and roam
Stop taking it on the chin and begin to feel at home
In the bigger pond where the bigger fish and the bigger men belong


Let's Take an Old-Fashioned Walk

[1st VERSE:]
Some couples go for a buggy ride 
When they start caring a lot
Others will bicycle side by side
Out to some romantic spot
But when you haven't a sou
There's only one thing to do

[REFRAIN:]
Let's take an old-fashioned walk
I'm just bursting with talk
What a tale could be told 
If we went for an old-fashioned walk

Let's take a stroll through the park
Down a lane where it's dark
And heart that's controlled 
May relax on an old-fashioned walk

I know for a couple who seem to be miles apart
There's nothing like walking and having a "heart to heart"

I know a girl who declined
Couldn't make up her mind
She was wrapped up and sold
Coming home from an old-fashioned walk

[2nd VERSE:]
I used to dream of a millionaire
Handsome and rich from the States
Taking me out for a breath of air
Saying "The carriage awaits"
But since you haven't a sou
And I have nothing to do

[alternate VERSE:]
Some couples go for a buggy ride
When they start caring a lot
Others will bicycle side by side 
Out to some romantic spot
Some take a ride on a bus
But that would not do for us


Homework

[VERSE:]
I'm so tired of working in an office 
And it's making me blue
There is work that don't require an office
That I'm anxious to do

[1st REFRAIN:]
Homework, I want to do homework
Instead of an office, I want to work home

Staying at home and crocheting
And meekly obeying
The guy who comes home

A cozy kitchen to be in there pitchin'
Is the thing I'm longing to do
To be there learning when a steak needs turning
And just what goes into a stew

Homework, I want to do homework
A genius who sits and plans with pots and pans at home
A genius who bakes a pie that keeps a guy at home

[2nd REFRAIN:]
Homework, I want to do homework
Instead of an office, I want to work home

Messing around with French dressing
And slightly impressing
The guy who comes home

I long to settle with a steaming kettle
And a frying pan and a pot
And be the keeper of a carpet sweeper
That's the one ambition I've got

Homework, I want to do homework
A genius who has a way that makes him stay at home
A genius who has what takes that makes or breaks a home

[3rd REFRAIN:]
Homework, I want to do homework
Instead of an office, I want to work home

Patching his trousers and matching
The part that keeps scratching
The guy who comes home

A table wiper who can change a diaper
Is the thing I'd like to be best
And be the master of a mustard plaster
When the cold goes down to his chest

Homework, I want to do homework
A genius who does her part so he don't start to roam
A genius who earns her keep that makes him sleep at home


Paris Wakes Up and Smiles

When the sun goes down, Paris wakes up
Fills up her cup and smiles

When the lights are low, Paris is high
Lights up the sky for miles

When they stop playing shop on the Rue de la Paix
Count their stock and they lock up their styles

When the busy town goes home to sup
Paris wakes up and smiles


Only For Americans

[Horace:]  Countess, you're my pal.  Hey, we gotta celebrate!
[Countess:] What?
[Horace:] Yeah, first to Montmartre!
Then the Moulin Rouge! 
The Folies Bergere!
[Countess:] Not at all....
[Horace:] Not Montmartre?
[Countess:] No.
[Horace:] Not the Moulin Rouge?
[Countess:] No.
[Horace:] Not the Folies Bergere?!
[Countess:] No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.  They are

[1st REFRAIN:]
Only for Americans
The midnight life in gay Paree
The Frenchman he would never see
It's only for Americans
The prices in the smart cafe
The Frenchman he would never pay
The price that's more is only for 
Americans from the U.S.A.

A Montmartre lady drops her hanky
And slyly winks her eye
That's only for the Yankee
The Frenchman wouldn't buy

Only for Americans
The Frenchmen on the boulevards 
Don't buy those dirty postal cards
They're only for Americans
The little holes for peeping through 
To see what naughty people do
The French would bore, they're only for 
Americans from the U.S.A.

[2nd REFRAIN:]
Only for Americans
The shops with many real antiques
Antiques as old as seven weeks
They're only for Americans
The bed on which a king made love 
Which there are sev'ral dozen of 
The French pooh pooh, we sell them to 
Americans from the U.S.A.

Those old Napoleon brandy labels
That recently were made
They're not for Frenchmen's tables
They're for the Yankee trade

Only for Americans
The Frenchman gets his kisses free
But those for which there is a fee
Are only for Americans
You'll find two prices on a dress
One that is extremely less
The price that's more is only for
Americans from the U.S.A.

[3rd REFRAIN:]
Only for Americans
A Frenchman's food is very plain
Those fancy sauces with ptomaine
Are only for Americans
A Frenchman seldom eats the snails
With little ulcers on their tails
And all that cheese was made to please
Americans from the U.S.A.

While the American carouses 
Where crimson shadows creep
The French avoid those houses
They go to bed to sleep

Only for Americans
A Frenchman wouldn't be impressed 
To see a show with girls undressed
That's only for Americans
The French don't go to naked shows
They've seen what's underneath the clothes
And each encore is only for
Americans from the U.S.A.

[4th REFRAIN:]
Only for Americans
The Frenchmen don't keep company
With south of France society
That's only for Americans
The Frenchman hasn't large amounts 
To pay for Barons, Dukes and Counts
That you adore, they're only for
Americans from the U.S.A.

We like to keep the good relations 
That nothing must upset
We give you decorations 
That Frenchmen seldom get

Only for Americans
Our finest art is in the Louvre
The ones the experts don't approve
Are only for Americans
We keep an artist by the gate
To sign the paintings while you wait
Before they're dry, they're purchased by
Americans from the U.S.A.

[alternate bridge in 2nd REFRAIN:]
We buy your worn out mink and sables
And fix them up like new
Then simply change the labels
And sell them back to you

[alternate ending:]
Only for Americans
The season starts, they come to town
They turn the city upside down
We use their Yankee Doodle dough
To clean up Paris when they go

But we can't do without them
We're simply mad about them
The Americans
The Americans
The Americans from the U.S.A.


Just One Way to Say I Love You

[1st VERSE:]
Why search for flowery phrases
Quoting what poets have said
Why talk in circles around it
Why not be simple instead
Let's hit the nail on the head

[1st REFRAIN:]
I love you, I love you
There's no other way
Just one way to say 
I love you

I love you, I love you
And try as I may
That's all I can say
I love you

Much more could be said if I thought with my head
But I only can think with my heart

I love you, I love you
And yearn for the day
The day when you'll say
"I love you"

[2nd VERSE:]
I could be oh, so indiff'rent
With very little success
I could continue pretending
But I'm afraid you would guess
So why not simply say, "Yes"?

[2nd REFRAIN:]
I love you, I love you
There's no other way
Just one way to say 
I love you

I love you, I love you
And try as I may
That's all I can say
I love you

Much more could be said if I thought with my head
But I only can think with my heart

I love you, I love you
And this is the day
The day when we'll say
"I love you"


Miss Liberty

Liberty, Miss Liberty
We welcome you here to our shores
Liberty, Miss Liberty
The key to the city is yours
Liberty, Miss Liberty
You're not just the symbol of a statue that we love 
But the most beautiful girl in the world

Would you like to dine some evening at the Astors?
-I'd love to
Would you like to play a week at Tony Pastor's?
-I'd love to
Would you like to come to Trinity on Sunday?
-I'd love to
Would you like to launch a battleship on Monday?
-I'd love to

Here's some orchids fresh with dew from the President to you
Here's some winter flannels from the nation's mothers
Here's some tickets for our ball
You'll be welcome at the hall
Here's some cough drops from the famous bearded brothers

I represent Pratt's Astral Oil
The finest application for a pimple or a boil
We'll pay you handsomely for very little toil
Your picture with a bottle of Pratt's Astral Oil

I thank you, I thank you, I'm grateful to be sure
Like money in the bank, you have made me feel secure
Your Congress, your Senate, your President, so dear
But mostly Mister Bennett, the man who brought me here


You Can Have Him

[Maizie:]
You can have him
I don't want him
He's not worth fighting for
Besides there's plenty more where he came from
I don't want him
You can have him
I'm giving him the sack
And he can go right back where he came from
I could never make him happy
He'd be better off with you
I'm afraid I never loved him
All I ever wanted to do was

Run my fingers thru his curly locks
Mend his underwear and darn his socks
Fetch his slippers and remove his shoes
Wipe his glasses when he read the news
Rub his forehead with a gentle touch
Mornings after when he's had too much
Kiss him gently when he cuddled near
Give him babies one for ev'ry year, so you see
I don't want him, you can have him
You can have him, I don't want him
For he's not the man for me

[Monique:]
You can have him
I don't want him
He's not worth fighting for
Besides there's plenty more where he came from
I don't want him
You can have him
He isn't my concern
And he can just return where he came from
I would look a trifle silly 
Taking him away from you
That was never my intention
All I ever wanted to do was

Close the window while he soundly slept
Raid the icebox where the food is kept
Cook a breakfast that would please him most
Eggs and coffee and some buttered toast
Wake him gently with a breakfast tray
After breakfast clear the things away
Bring the papers and when they've been read
Spend the balance of the day in bed, so you see
I don't want him, you can have him
You can have him, I don't want him
For he's not the man for me


Policeman's Ball, The

[VERSE:]
Tickets for one and all 
For the Policeman's Ball

[REFRAIN:]
Fifty cents for a gent and his bundle
Will admit you to the Policeman's Ball
Fifty cents and you're all set to trundle 
Arm in arm and dance all around the hall

Dancin' 'round, gettin' hot 'neath the collar
If it starts to wilt from the lack of starch
There'll be six you can buy for a dollar
And you'll have a spare for the big Grand March

All evening they'll be tripping the light fantastic
Watch their suspenders stretching the old elastic

Each dress'd up in a suit made of cotton
Patent leather shoes that are much too small
But who cares?  That'll soon be forgotten
Dancing at the Policeman's Ball

[CODA:]
Come on let's go to the Policeman's Ball


Falling Out of Love Can Be Fun

[VERSE:]
Crocodile tears will not be shed
They're not for a lady like I'm
I can recall what my aunt said
When she married for the twentieth time

[1st REFRAIN:]
Falling out of love can be fun
After love is over and done
It's an awful blow and although it's upsetting
So much you can do while you're forgetting
Falling out of love can be fun

When you've find your lover has gone
Get your second wind and go on
There's an old affair that is there for renewing
In your grief, do you know what you're doing?
Falling out of love can be fun

Soon, you'll be swinging in a hammock on a porch
One arm wrapped around someone else
The other arm carrying a torch

Love can give a lady a clout
And she may be down but not out
Get yourself a date, don't you wait for the count of ten, then
Falling out of love can be falling in love again

[2nd REFRAIN:]
Falling out of love can be fun
Someone else can soon be the one
By another name, he's the same as his brother
Close your eyes and one is like the other
Falling out of love can be fun

When he goes before you have wed
And the stork is over your head
Soon you're gonna be with a she or a laddie
Smile as you go shopping for a daddy
Falling out of love can be fun

Soon, you'll be losing all your troubles and your fears
One eye winking at someone else
The other eye filling up with tears

When you find your lovin' romance
Gets a sudden kick in the pants
Get yourself surrounded and bounded with lots of men, then
Falling out of love can be falling in love again


Give Me Your Tired, Your Poor

["Words by Emma Lazarus: The New Colossus, Music by Irving Berlin"]

Give me your tired, your poor
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore
Send these the homeless tempest-tost to me
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!

Give me your tired, your poor
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore
Send these the homeless tempest-tost to me
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!