1962


If You Haven't Got an Ear for Music

[1st REFRAIN:]
What good is a fancy motorcar?
If you haven't got an ear for music, you haven't got a thing at all

What good is a ton of caviar?
If you haven't got an ear for music, you haven't got a thing at all

What good is a sack of gold
If a jazz band leaves you cold?

What good is a mansion large or small?
If you haven't got an ear for music, you haven't got a thing at all

[2nd REFRAIN:]
What good is a sable or a mink?
If you haven't got an ear for music, you haven't got a thing at all

What good is that extra midnight drink?
If you haven't got an ear for music, you haven't got a thing at all

When I journey to the moon
I won't go without a tune

What good is a party or a ball?

If you haven't got an ear for music, you haven't got a thing at all
You haven't got a thing at all
You haven't got a thing at all

Mr. President (1962)

Don't Be Afraid of Romance

Don't be afraid of romance
Don't be so frightened, come on take a chance

Don't stop to question is this the real thing
Don't be afraid to let go
Don't run away till you know

Romance is best while you're young
That's when the sweetest of love songs are sung

That's when your daydreams are filled with moonlight
Don't be afraid when you start
You have nothing to lose but your heart


Empty Pockets Filled with Love

[1st REFRAIN:]
Empty pockets but a heart full of love
A heart full of love for you

Cash not any, not one red penny
But kisses many for you

Empty pockets but a heart beating fast
As fast as the stars above

Please say that you'll get by with just a guy
With empty pockets filled with love

[2nd REFRAIN, sung in counterpoint:]
You can't eat love, you can't drink love
You can't wear love like you would a gown

I trust love but just love
Won't pay for caviar
Won't buy that motor car
Or a house in town

You can't spend love, you can't lend love
You must end love when the chips are down

Love flies out the window when there's nothing to eat
Nothing to drink, nothing to wear but a frown
And the chips are down


The First Lady

[VERSE:]
She might have been a teacher  
A job that she'd adore . . . 
She might have been a housewife  
A wife and nothing more
She might have been an actress 
Who might have played Broadway
But my husband had to be President 
And what am I today? 
         
[1st REFRAIN:]
I'm the first lady of the land 
The first lady of the land 
Standing on a receiving line 
Winding up with an aching spine 
Calluses  on my receiving hand  
As the first lady of the land 

For every week a different hairdo 
Which means another dress 
Those meetings with committees
And sparring with the press 
Those dreary formal dinners,  
When I stay up till dawn 
Counting all the silver  
When the guests have gone
         
When they march out in single file
And I must smile, smile, smile
I'd rather be the second  
Or the third or the fourth  
Or the fifth or the sixth  
Or the seventh instead of the first lady of the land

[2nd REFRAIN:]
I'm the first lady of the land 
The first lady of the land 
Entertaining at lunch or tea  
Do do-gooders who call on me  
Telling of their noble deeds they've planned  
For the first lady of the land
         
And oh the presents that they send me 
An awful lot of junk  
An un-housebroken poodle  
A dehydrated skunk 
A turkey for Thanksgiving
Potatas in a sack 
But when they send me a diamond 
I must send it back
         
When the whole cabinet arrives 
And bring their wives, wives, wives
I'd rather be the second  
Or the third or the fourth  
Or the fifth or the sixth  
Or the seventh instead of the first lady of the land 


Glad To Be Home

I'm so glad to be home again  
I promise never to roam again 
It's oh so good to be home again

I could cry, I'm so happy 
I'm back where I had to be 
Awfully glad to be home 
         
My heart suddenly mends again 
Among my neighbors and friends again
As I start tying loose ends again 

I could cry, I'm so happy 
There's no need of askin' me, certainly you can see  
Just why I'm glad to be home         


I'm Gonna Get Him

[VERSE:]
When I was a kid 
And I wanted a doll I got it 
Don't ask how I did but when I was a kid  
And I wanted a doll I got it 
I carefully laid out a plan 
When I were a kid 'twas a doll
And now it's a man

[1st REFRAIN:]
I'm gonna get him, I'm gonna get him  
Instead of giving up and throwing in the towel

I'm gonna keep on fighting fair or foul  
Until I get him, I'm gonna get him  
         
I'm gonna wear my jewels and my ermine wrap  
And if I have to drop my shoulder strap 
I'm gonna get him, I'm gonna get him
         
And when I've got him where I think he oughta be 
I'm gonna love him, love him 
My mission in life will be to love him until he loves me
         
[2nd REFRAIN:]
I'm gonna get him, I'm gonna get him 
I'll back him in a corner till he squirms and twists  

And if I must put handcuffs on his wrists  
I'm gonna get him, I'm gonna get him  
         
He'll know the facts of life and when he understands  
I'll put a shotgun in my father's hands  
And that'll get him, I'm gonna get him  
         
And when I've got him where I think he oughta be 
I'm gonna hug him, hug him 
I'll hug em and if I have to slug him 
He's gonna love, he's gonna love, he's gonna love me 


[alternate VERSE:]
When you were a kid 
And you wanted a doll you got it 
Don't ask how you did but when you were a kid  
And you wanted a doll you got it 
You carefully laid out a plan 
When you were a kid 'twas a doll
And now it's a man


In Our Hide-Away

In our hide-away, far from all the fuss that bothers us 
We'll hide-away, we two

In our hide-away, we'll be all alone, no telephone 
To worry me or you
         
We will have a ball
Busy doin' nothing at all
         
In our hide-away, we will lock the door and throw away the key  
What a holiday, our hide-away will be


Is He the Only Man in the World?

Is he the only man in the world
That you will always love and adore?

Look just as good to you in the morning
As he did the night before?

Out of a hundred million or two
Is he the only one for you?

If he's the only man in the world come rain or shine
Then he's a man like mine


[Male version:]
Is she the only girl in the world
That you will always love and adore?

Look just as good to you in the morning
As she did the night before?

Out of a hundred million or two
Is she the only one for you?

If she's the only girl in the world come rain or shine
Then she's a girl like mine


It Gets Lonely In The White House

It gets lonely in the White House when your cares begin 
And the White House is a big place to be lonely in 
When you're all alone there staring into space  
And you wish the man you ran against could be there in your place
         
It gets lonely in the White House when you've been attacked 
By the loyal opposition getting in the act 
If you make the wrong decision, when the final chips are down  
The White House is the loneliest place in town
         
It gets lonely in the White House when you're sitting there 
And you have to do your thinking in a rocking chair 
When some exercise would keep you feeling well   
But a journey to the golf course and the country's gone to hell
         
When the budget isn't balanced and you're in the red 
And you feel it would be better to be dead than red 

When your speech is optimistic but the stocks keep tumblin' down  
The White House is the loneliest place in town


The Only Dance I Know (Song for Belly Dancer)

[VERSE:]
My youth was spent in the Orient  
Where they never taught me to waltz  
You'd be surprised when I exercised  
It was never done to a waltz
It was done like this
But never to a waltz
  
[1st REFRAIN:]       
In ancient Siam, women like I am  
Indoors or on the street  
No woman dances with her feet

Egyptian, Persian, only one version  
No other stands a chance
Feet are for walking, not for dance
         
To an oriental fiddle,  
You can see them shake their middle
The feet don't mean a thing 
Middles are all they swing 
         
Even an Egyptian mummy
Wiggles her tummy  
Wiggles it so and so  
That is the only dance I know
 
[2nd REFRAIN:]         
You don't need an Arthur Murray  
Just a fringe that's on the surrey  
Will satisfy your needs  
Dancing between the beads  
         
Everybody shake your torso  
Sexy but more so  
Shake it, come on, let's go
Let's do the only dance I know


Pigtails and Freckles

Pigtails and freckles, braces on your teeth 
Who would have thought you would turn out so beautiful? 

Awkward and bashful, scared right from the start 
Who would have thought you would turn out so smart? 
         
Changes, many changes, since I first looked at you, 
Funny, very funny, what a few years can do
 
Pigtails and freckles, braces on your teeth 
Who would have thought they'd become so sublime?  
I would have thought, for I thought so all the time


The Secret Service

[1st REFRAIN:]
The secret service makes me nervous  
When I am dating they are waiting to observe us 
When I get ready to hold steady for the kiss you plant
The secret service makes me nervous and I can't
         
They're always spying, no denying 
They're always peeping, gumshoe creeping, private eye-ing 
When I'm beginning to give-inning like a maiden aunt 
The secret service makes me nervous and I can't
         
I've been exposed beyond control 
Just like a goldfish in a bowl
The President's daughter must drink water 
No drink of Scotch, she might do what she hadn't oughter 
When I'm ignited, so excited that I start to pant

The secret service makes me nervous  
When my lamps are lit and I say "This is it!" 
The secret service makes me nervous and I can't

[2nd REFRAIN:]
The secret service makes me nervous  
Those White House "dicks" get all their kicks when they observe us
Just as I wind up, make my mind up not to say "I won't"  
The secret service makes me nervous and I don't
         
When things look rosy they get nosy  
They'll say there's "tootsie" playing "footsie" very cosy  
My pulse goes higher, I'm on fire, shaking at the knees 
The secret service makes me nervous and I freeze
         
Whatever I may do or say  
Will be reported the next day
They don't see clearly when I'm merely being courted  
When I'm just necking, simply pecking with a "Cary Grant" 

They stand behind me to remind me 
Who and what I am when I don't give a damn
The secret service makes me nervous and I can't
         

They Love Me

[VERSE:]
Oh! What a trip
What a wonderful trip
And to think that I was worried  
At the start of the trip
I must confess that I was filled with doubt  
But there was really nothing to worry about

[1st REFRAIN:]
They love me, they love me
I'm welcome everywhere with open arms

They love me, they love me
I never knew I had so many charms
         
In Pakistan they took me sailing on a lovely lake  
In India they let me see a mongoose kill a snake  

Because they love me, they love me  
And they want me to come back again

[2nd REFRAIN:]         
They love me, they love me
In Tokyo they think that I'm a dream

They claimed me and named me
"America's Ambassador Supreme" 
         
They always have a banquet on the day that I arrive  
In Borneo they made me eat an octopus alive

Because they love me, they love me  
And they want me to come back again

[3rd REFRAIN:]
They love me, they love me
With every place I visit it's the same

They meet me and greet me
With every kind of present you can name
         
A chieftain in New Guinea with his forehead painted red 
Presented me with a poison arrow and a shrunken head

Because they love me, oh they love me  
And they want me to come back again
         
[3rd REFRAIN:]
They love me, they love me
I smile when I'm presented with a key 

In Thailand 'twas my land  
I spent a happy day from two to three
         
The day I left Arabia my seat was full of bumps 
They made me ride a camel where I sat between the humps

Because they love me, they love me  
And they want me to come back 
They want me to come back 
They want me to come back again
         

This Is a Great Country

[VERSE:]
Patriotism has gone out of fashion
We seem to think our patriotic days are dead
We used to sing of our homeland with passion
But now we seem to shy away from it instead
I think it's time to hit the nail right on the head

[REFRAIN:]
This is a great country, a great country
So let's shout it clear and loud

Take a look in your hist'ry book
And you'll see why we should be proud

Hats off to America
The home of the free and the brave

If this is flag waving, flag waving
Do you know of a better flag to wave?


Washington Twist

Doing the Washington twist
Doing the twist with a twist
No one is set till they finally get 
On the President's favorite list
President's doubts while the ins and the outs 
Keep on doing the Washington Twist

Gentlemen loaded with charm
Seemingly meaning no harm
But while they're there, you're becoming aware
That they're quietly twisting your arm
Gentle in tone while promoting a loan
Which is part of the Washington Twist

Congressmen's lips that are pucked
Waiting for plums to be plucked
Legal concerns, making out their returns
With expenses they'd like to deduct
Drinking a toast to the host with the most
While they're doing the Washington Twist