He Ain't Got Rhythm
[sheet music version:]
[VERSE:]
I know a professor of great renown
And he is the loneliest man in town
He's as smart as a man can be
But he never has company
Why is he the loneliest man in town?
[1st REFRAIN:]
He ain't got rhythm
Ev'ry night he sits in the house alone
'Cause he ain't got rhythm
Ev'ry night he sits there and wears a frown
He attracted some attention
When he found the fourth dimension
But he ain't got rhythm, so no one's with 'im
The loneliest man in town
A lonely man is he
Bending over his books
His wife and family
Keep giving him dirty looks
'Cause he ain't got rhythm
When they call him up, it's to call him down
With a daring aviator
He encircled the equator
But he ain't got rhythm, as no one's with 'im
The loneliest man in town
[2nd REFRAIN:]
He ain't got rhythm
Ev'ry night he sits in the house alone
'Cause he ain't got rhythm
Ev'ry night he sits there and wears a frown
With a problem scientific
He's colossal and terrific
But he ain't got rhythm, so no one's with 'im
The loneliest man in town
A lonely man is he
Bending over his books
His wife and family
Keep giving him dirty looks
'Cause he ain't got rhythm
When they call him up, it's to call him down
In the month of January
He compiled a dictionary
But he ain't got rhythm, as no one's with 'im
The loneliest man in town
[as sung in film (more or less):]
[ALICE FAYE:]
What are you studying?
[1st CO-ED:]
Psychology
[ALICE FAYE:]
And you, dear?
[2nd CO-ED:]
Philosophy
[ALICE FAYE:]
Well, don't take it too seriously because
I know a professor of great renown
[CO-EDS:]
Yes?
[ALICE FAYE:]
And he is the loneliest man in town
[CO-EDS:]
Really?
[ALICE FAYE:]
He's as smart as a man can be
But he never has company
[CO-EDS:]
Why is he the loneliest man in town? Huh?
[ALICE FAYE:]
He ain't got rhythm
[CO-EDS:]
Oh!
[ALICE FAYE:]
Ev'ry night he sits in the house alone
'Cause he ain't got rhythm
[CO-EDS:]
Too bad!
[ALICE FAYE:]
Ev'ry night he sits there and wears a frown
He attracted some attention
When he found the fourth dimension
But he ain't got rhythm, so no one's with 'im
[ALL:]
The loneliest man in town
[ALICE FAYE:]
A lonely man is he
Bending over his books
[CO-EDS:]
He would!
[ALICE FAYE:]
His wife and family
[ALL:]
Keep giving him dirty looks
[ALICE FAYE:]
'Cause he ain't got rhythm
When they call him up, it's to call him down
In the month of January
He compiled a dictionary
But he ain't got rhythm, so no one's with 'im
The loneliest man in town
[ALL:]
He's lonely, he's lonesome
And he's all by his "own-some"
The loneliest man in town
[THE PROFESSOR:]
I know every planet up in the sky
I've measured them all with my naked eye
I've seen everything up in Mars
I know all about falling stars
But still I'm a very unhappy guy
I wonder why
[PROFESSORS:]
You ain't got rhythm!
[THE PROFESSOR:]
I can read the tea leaves in my cup
[PROFESSORS:]
But you ain't got rhythm!
[THE PROFESSOR:]
And I just found out how high is up
[PROFESSORS:]
But you ain't got rhythm!
[THE PROFESSOR:]
I discovered once while sober
Where the flies go in October
For what I found out about the flies
I got the Nobel prize
[PROFESSORS:]
But you can't do the Charleston
And you don't know how to do the Black Bottom, the new rhythm
[THE PROFESSOR:]
Heaven, I see Heaven
Through my telescope while gazing from Mount Wilson's highest peak
I'll explain it all in Latin or in Greek
[PROFESSORS:]
But you're not so hot while dancing cheek to cheek
[THE PROFESSOR:]
I've mastered relativity
[PROFESSORS:]
But when they have festivity
[THE PROFESSOR:]
They'll never think of asking me
[CO-EDS:]
Don't you wonder why?
[PROFESSORS:]
'Cause you don't know how to do the rhumba
That's the reason you're a lonely guy
[THE PROFESSOR:]
Ah, love!
Venus is lovely tonight and so is Jupiter
[PROFESSORS:]
Jupiter's skipping from planet to planet
[THE PROFESSOR:]
Jumping Jupiter!
[PROFESSORS & CO-EDS:]
But you couldn't be stupider
'Cause you ain't got rhythm
[THE PROFESSOR:]
Why, I discovered liquid air
[PROFESSORS:]
But you ain't got rhythm
[THE PROFESSOR:]
And I've a cure for falling hair
[PROFESSORS:]
But you can't get hot
[THE PROFESSOR:]
What?
[PROFESSORS & CO-EDS:]
No, you can't get hot
[THE PROFESSOR:]
What?
I'm a scientist to my fingertips
[PROFESSORS:]
But you can't do nothing with your hips
[CO-EDS:]
And that's the thing we miss
[THE PROFESSOR:]
You mean this?
[PROFESSORS & CO-EDS:]
Yes! He's got it! He's got it!
He's got it! He's got it!
The man's got rhythm!
Slumming on Park Avenue
[VERSE:]
Put on your slumming clothes and get your car
Let's go sightseeing where the high-toned people are
Come on, there's lots of fun in store for you
See how the other half lives on Park Avenue
[REFRAIN:]
Let's go slumming, take me slumming
Let's go slumming on Park Avenue
Let us hide behind a pair of fancy glasses
And make faces when a member of the classes passes
Let's go smelling where they're dwelling
Sniffing ev'rything the way they do
Let us go to it, they do it
Why can't we do it too?
Let's go slumming, nose thumbing, on Park Avenue
[2nd REFRAIN:]
Let's go slumming, take me slumming
Let's go slumming on Park Avenue
Where the social hearts for Broadway lights are throbbing
And they spend their nights in smart cafes hobknobbing, snobbing
Come let's eye them, pass right by them
Looking down our noses as they do
Let us go to it, they do it
Why can't we do it too?
Let's go slumming, crumb bumming, on Park Avenue
Alexander's Ragtime Band (1938 film)
Song of the Metronome, The
Listen to the song of the metronome
Tick - tock, tick - tock
Simple little song of the metronome
Tick - tock, tick - tock
Listen to it telling you that life is sublime
Life is sublime if you just take your time
Just keep in time to the song of the metronome
Listen to it tick-tock an even beat
Tick - tock, tick - tock
Beating out a warning to anxious feet
Tick - tock, tick - tock
Telling you a turtle had a race with a hare
And at the finish the turtle was there
Keeping in time with the song of the metronome
Tick - tock, tick - tock
You may be passed
Tick - tock, tick - tock
But you will last
Better to be late than to not arrive
Tick - tock, tick - tock
Four o'clock is gone but you still have five
Tick - tock, tick - tock
When your day is over you'll be up on the shelf
So, brother, don't run away with yourself
Don't run away from the song of the metronome
Back to Back
[VERSE:]
There's nothing new beneath the sun
Except the new dance I've invented
And it's really lots of fun
Come on now, take your place
And soon you'll get the knack
You don't stand face to face
You do it back to back
[REFRAIN:]
Dancing back to back
Takes you off the beaten track
You don't look at your partner at all
When you dance back to back
That's that new attack
That the other dances lack
You can see what goes on in the hall
When you dance back to back
Your partner won't see you
Make eyes at who's dancing by
Your partner won't mind it
She's doing the same, that's why
You must dance back to back
Let me place you in the pack
Cut the cards and I'll deal you a queen and a jack
Back to back
[PATTER, in film:]
Take your partner on the floor and stand back to back
Hold your partner gently by the hand back to back
After you have done it, you'll get hep to the knack
'Stead of steppin' front to front, you step back to back
Everybody's dancing back to back [... etc.]