On the Avenue (1937 film)

He Ain't Got Rhythm

[sheet music version:]
[VERSE:]
I know a professor of great renown
And he is the loneliest man in town
He's as smart as a man can be
But he never has company
Why is he the loneliest man in town?

[1st REFRAIN:]
He ain't got rhythm
Ev'ry night he sits in the house alone
'Cause he ain't got rhythm
Ev'ry night he sits there and wears a frown
He attracted some attention
When he found the fourth dimension
But he ain't got rhythm, so no one's with 'im
The loneliest man in town
A lonely man is he
Bending over his books
His wife and family
Keep giving him dirty looks
'Cause he ain't got rhythm
When they call him up, it's to call him down
With a daring aviator
He encircled the equator
But he ain't got rhythm, as no one's with 'im
The loneliest man in town

[2nd REFRAIN:]
He ain't got rhythm
Ev'ry night he sits in the house alone
'Cause he ain't got rhythm
Ev'ry night he sits there and wears a frown
With a problem scientific
He's colossal and terrific
But he ain't got rhythm, so no one's with 'im
The loneliest man in town
A lonely man is he
Bending over his books
His wife and family
Keep giving him dirty looks
'Cause he ain't got rhythm
When they call him up, it's to call him down
In the month of January
He compiled a dictionary
But he ain't got rhythm, as no one's with 'im
The loneliest man in town


[as sung in film (more or less):]
[ALICE FAYE:]
What are you studying?

[1st CO-ED:]
Psychology

[ALICE FAYE:]
And you, dear?

[2nd CO-ED:]
Philosophy

[ALICE FAYE:]
Well, don't take it too seriously because
I know a professor of great renown

[CO-EDS:]
Yes?

[ALICE FAYE:]
And he is the loneliest man in town

[CO-EDS:]
Really?

[ALICE FAYE:]
He's as smart as a man can be
But he never has company

[CO-EDS:]
Why is he the loneliest man in town?  Huh?

[ALICE FAYE:]
He ain't got rhythm

[CO-EDS:]
Oh!

[ALICE FAYE:]
Ev'ry night he sits in the house alone
'Cause he ain't got rhythm

[CO-EDS:]
Too bad!

[ALICE FAYE:]
Ev'ry night he sits there and wears a frown
He attracted some attention
When he found the fourth dimension
But he ain't got rhythm, so no one's with 'im

[ALL:]
The loneliest man in town

[ALICE FAYE:]
A lonely man is he
Bending over his books

[CO-EDS:]
He would!

[ALICE FAYE:]
His wife and family

[ALL:]
Keep giving him dirty looks

[ALICE FAYE:]
'Cause he ain't got rhythm
When they call him up, it's to call him down
In the month of January
He compiled a dictionary
But he ain't got rhythm, so no one's with 'im
The loneliest man in town

[ALL:]
He's lonely, he's lonesome
And he's all by his "own-some"
The loneliest man in town

[THE PROFESSOR:]
I know every planet up in the sky
I've measured them all with my naked eye
I've seen everything up in Mars
I know all about falling stars
But still I'm a very unhappy guy
I wonder why

[PROFESSORS:]
You ain't got rhythm!

[THE PROFESSOR:]
I can read the tea leaves in my cup

[PROFESSORS:]
But you ain't got rhythm!

[THE PROFESSOR:]
And I just found out how high is up

[PROFESSORS:]
But you ain't got rhythm!

[THE PROFESSOR:]
I discovered once while sober
Where the flies go in October
For what I found out about the flies
I got the Nobel prize

[PROFESSORS:]
But you can't do the Charleston
And you don't know how to do the Black Bottom, the new rhythm

[THE PROFESSOR:]
Heaven, I see Heaven
Through my telescope while gazing from Mount Wilson's highest peak
I'll explain it all in Latin or in Greek

[PROFESSORS:]
But you're not so hot while dancing cheek to cheek

[THE PROFESSOR:]
I've mastered relativity

[PROFESSORS:]
But when they have festivity

[THE PROFESSOR:]
They'll never think of asking me

[CO-EDS:]
Don't you wonder why?

[PROFESSORS:]
'Cause you don't know how to do the rhumba
That's the reason you're a lonely guy

[THE PROFESSOR:]
Ah, love!
Venus is lovely tonight and so is Jupiter

[PROFESSORS:]
Jupiter's skipping from planet to planet

[THE PROFESSOR:]
Jumping Jupiter!

[PROFESSORS & CO-EDS:]
But you couldn't be stupider
'Cause you ain't got rhythm

[THE PROFESSOR:]
Why, I discovered liquid air

[PROFESSORS:]
But you ain't got rhythm

[THE PROFESSOR:]
And I've a cure for falling hair

[PROFESSORS:]
But you can't get hot

[THE PROFESSOR:]
What?

[PROFESSORS & CO-EDS:]
No, you can't get hot

[THE PROFESSOR:]
What?
I'm a scientist to my fingertips

[PROFESSORS:]
But you can't do nothing with your hips

[CO-EDS:]
And that's the thing we miss

[THE PROFESSOR:]
You mean this?

[PROFESSORS & CO-EDS:]
Yes!  He's got it!  He's got it!
He's got it!  He's got it! 
The man's got rhythm!


Girl on the Police Gazette, The

[VERSE:]
Some fellows see the girl that they love in a dream
Some fellows see their love in a rippling stream
I saw the girl that I can't forget
On the cover of a police gazette
If I could find her, life would be peaches and cream

[REFRAIN:]
Oh, my search will never cease for the girl on the police gazette
For the pretty young brunette on the pink police gazette

And above my mantlepiece there's a page of the police gazette
With the pretty young brunette on the pink police gazette

I love to stop
At my fav'rite barber shop
Just to take another look at 
The girl that I haven't met 
Yet

And my longing will increase for the girl on the police gazette
For the pretty young brunette on the pink police gazette


You're Laughing at Me

[VERSE:]
I love you which is easy to see
But I have to keep guessing how you feel about me
You listen to the words that I speak
But I feel that you listen with your tongue in your cheek

[REFRAIN:]
You're laughing at me
I can't be sentimental 
For you're laughing at me I know

I want to be romantic but I haven't a chance
You've got a sense of humor and humor is death to romance

You're laughing at me
Why do you think it's funny
When I say that I love you so?

You've got me worried and I'm all at sea
For while I'm crying for you, you're laughing at me


This Year's Kisses

[VERSE:]
I didn't cry when romance was through
I looked around for somebody new
Since my romance, I've kissed one or two
But I'm afraid their kisses won't do

[REFRAIN:]
This year's crop of kisses
Don't seem as sweet to me

This year's crop just misses
What kisses used to be

This year's new romance
Doesn't seem to have a chance
Even helped by Mister Moon above

This year's crop of kisses
Is not for me
For I'm still wearing last year's love


I've Got My Love to Keep Me Warm

The snow is snowing, the wind is blowing
But I can weather the storm
What do I care how much it may storm?
I've got my love to keep me warm

I can't remember a worse December
Just watch those icicles form
What do I care if icicles form?
I've got my love to keep me warm

Off with my overcoat
Off with my glove
I need no overcoat
I'm burning with love

My heart's on fire, the flame grows higher
So I will weather the storm
What do I care how much it may storm?
I've got my love to keep me warm


Slumming on Park Avenue

[VERSE:]
Put on your slumming clothes and get your car
Let's go sightseeing where the high-toned people are
Come on, there's lots of fun in store for you
See how the other half lives on Park Avenue

[REFRAIN:]
Let's go slumming, take me slumming
Let's go slumming on Park Avenue

Let us hide behind a pair of fancy glasses
And make faces when a member of the classes passes

Let's go smelling where they're dwelling
Sniffing ev'rything the way they do

Let us go to it, they do it
Why can't we do it too?
Let's go slumming, nose thumbing, on Park Avenue

[2nd REFRAIN:]
Let's go slumming, take me slumming
Let's go slumming on Park Avenue

Where the social hearts for Broadway lights are throbbing
And they spend their nights in smart cafes hobknobbing, snobbing

Come let's eye them, pass right by them
Looking down our noses as they do

Let us go to it, they do it
Why can't we do it too?
Let's go slumming, crumb bumming, on Park Avenue



Alexander's Ragtime Band (1938 film)

My Walking Stick

[VERSE:]
Take away my high hats
Take away my favorite tie
Take away my white spats
I'll still get by
But my walking stick
You simply must let that be
I mean you can't take that away from me

[REFRAIN:]
Without my walking stick, I'd go insane
Can't look my best, I'd feel undressed without my cane

Must have my walking stick 'cause it may rain
And when it pours, can't be outdoors without my cane

If I ever left my house without my walking stick
It would just be something I could never explain

The thing that makes me click on Lovers' Lane
Would go for naught if I were caught without my cane


Now It Can Be Told

[VERSE:]
All the world's great lovers have been glorified
History placed them in a romantic set
In between book covers they are side by side
But the real thing hasn't been written yet

[REFRAIN:]
Now it can be told, told in all its glory
Now that we have met the world may know the sentimental story

The greatest romance they ever knew
Is waiting to unfold

Now it can be told as an inspiration
Every other tale of boy meets girl is just an imitation

The great love story has never been told before
But now, now it can be told


I'm Marching Along with Time

[Written for the film, not used.]

[VERSE:]
This world of ours is ever changing
The hands of time keep rearranging
With ev'ry change I'm right on the beat
Won't let the grass grow under my feet

[REFRAIN:]
I'm marching along with time
I'll be marching from time to time
For I'm not gonna let the parade go by
You know that time marches on and so do I

One day I changed my horse
For a motor and now, of course
I'll be changing my car for a plane to fly
You know that time marches on and so do I

There'll be a change in music
A change in rhythm
A change in dancing
But I'll be right with 'em

Watch me and you will find
That I just won't be left behind
Father Time marches on with his head up high
And so do I



Second Fiddle (1939)

An Old-Fashioned Tune Always Is New

[VERSE:]
Nothing's as old as last year's rhythm, nothing's forgotten so soon
Nothing's as dated as last year's syncopated tune
Ragtime is dead and so is jazz, and swing will leave us cold
There's only one kind of music that never grows old

[REFRAIN:]
An old-fashioned tune always is new
It never seems to go out of style

For just when you start thinking it's through
It comes down from the shelf with a smile

A simple melody will always linger
I mean the kind you pick out with one finger

If you have some thoughts rhyming with June
Express them in an old-fashioned tune


Song of the Metronome, The

Listen to the song of the metronome
Tick - tock, tick - tock
Simple little song of the metronome
Tick - tock, tick - tock
Listen to it telling you that life is sublime
Life is sublime if you just take your time
Just keep in time to the song of the metronome

Listen to it tick-tock an even beat 
Tick - tock, tick - tock
Beating out a warning to anxious feet
Tick - tock, tick - tock
Telling you a turtle had a race with a hare
And at the finish the turtle was there
Keeping in time with the song of the metronome

Tick - tock, tick - tock
You may be passed
Tick - tock, tick - tock
But you will last

Better to be late than to not arrive
Tick - tock, tick - tock
Four o'clock is gone but you still have five
Tick - tock, tick - tock
When your day is over you'll be up on the shelf
So, brother, don't run away with yourself
Don't run away from the song of the metronome


Back to Back

[VERSE:]
There's nothing new beneath the sun
Except the new dance I've invented
And it's really lots of fun
Come on now, take your place
And soon you'll get the knack
You don't stand face to face
You do it back to back

[REFRAIN:]
Dancing back to back
Takes you off the beaten track
You don't look at your partner at all
When you dance back to back

That's that new attack
That the other dances lack
You can see what goes on in the hall
When you dance back to back

Your partner won't see you
Make eyes at who's dancing by
Your partner won't mind it
She's doing the same, that's why

You must dance back to back
Let me place you in the pack
Cut the cards and I'll deal you a queen and a jack
Back to back

[PATTER, in film:]
Take your partner on the floor and stand back to back
Hold your partner gently by the hand back to back
After you have done it, you'll get hep to the knack
'Stead of steppin' front to front, you step back to back
Everybody's dancing back to back [... etc.]


When Winter Comes

[VERSE:]
Winter is coming and soon
There will be frost on the moon
Snow will be falling and what am I going to do?
I'll need somebody to hold
Someone to hold when it's cold
Someone to love and I hope that that someone is you

[REFRAIN:]
The sun will shine in the summer
And I'll be fine in the summer
But then I've got to have you to cuddle up to
When winter comes

It's nice and warm in the summer
I'll be in form in the summer
But then I've got to have you to cuddle up to
When winter comes

All summer I'll be playing out on a tennis court
But in the winter
Just like the groundhog 
I'll turn in to an indoor sport

I'll pull an oar in the summer
And hug the shore in the summer
But then I've got to have you to cuddle up to
When winter comes


I Poured My Heart Into A Song

I poured my heart into a song
And when you hear it please remember from the start
You won't be hearing just the words and tune of a song
You will be listening to my heart

I poured my heart into a song
And I'm afraid the words I chose were not so smart
I couldn't think of clever things to say in my song
I had to say it with my heart

If it's never played on the hit parade
It will still contain a heart that is beating true
If it's not a hit I won't mind a bit long as it
Conveys the love that I bear for you

Here is my heart wrapped in a song
And if you take it please don't tear my song apart
For if you do you won't be just destroying a song
You will be tearing up my heart


I'm Sorry For Myself

I'm sorry for myself
So sorry for myself
Someone I love said good-bye
And no one's sorry for me that's why
I'm so sorry for myself

I'm blue as I can be
My man walked out on me
I'd go home and end it all
But fourteen stories is an awful fall
I'm so sorry for myself

I'm feeling mighty sad
I never looked so bad
I have lost my appetite
Couldn't eat my second steak last night
I'm so sorry for myself

So very blue am I
I wish I could die
Wish I had a nasty cough
I'd buy a gun but then it might go off
I'm so sorry for myself

I soon could end my woes
Down where the river flows
I would jump right in the sea
But no one may be there to rescue me
I'm so sorry for myself