Watch Your Step (1914)

[1st VERSE:]
Love, Love
Won't you come out from your hiding place
Let me see a trace of your hidden face
Love, Love
Wrapped in your mantle of mystery
Makes me ponder, ponder and wonder what you may be

[REFRAIN:]
What is love?
Is it gladness?  Or a form of sadness?
Or a sign of madness?

Should we meet face to face
Will it frighten me?  Kindly enlighten me

What is love?
I keep guessing whether it's a blessing
Or a thing distressing

Should it come to me
What will it prove to be
When I'm head and heels in love?

[2nd VERSE:]
Love, Love
Out of the darkness, I call to thee
Won't you let me see what you hold for me
Love, Love
I want to have you within my reach
For I'm yearning just to be learning the things you teach

[1st VERSE:]
It's eleven forty-five
Just as sure as you're alive
Just see those minstrel folks
Parading up the Avenue two by two
They've been billed all over town
Ev'ry one of them a clown
Why, I can hear them coming up the street
Honey, you better come down

[REFRAIN:]
Here they come, here they come
Marching to the big bass drum
Come and see those minstrels parade
In their costumes covered with braid
Hear those coons playing tunes
Like they should be played 
From ev'ry dwelling
Folks will come 
To hear them telling
Lots of funny riddles at the old town hall
One and all
Come on and watch the minstrel parade

[2nd VERSE:]
Get your tickets for the show
Oh, my honey, if you go
You'll know the reason why 
A chicken goes across the street
It's a treat
Paint your face up with a smile
Get yourself rigged up in style
They're only here to play a one night stand
Honey, you better come down

[1st VERSE:]
[Ernesta:] Where can we go to pass the time away?
[Flint:] I know a very lively cabaret
[Hardacre:] You'll have to lead me to it, I'm a jay
[Steele:] Show me the sight of it, I'll make a night of it
[Strange:] Let's go 'round and take in the show
[Lilliburn:] I'm with you wherever you go

[REFRAIN:]
Let's go 'round the town
And where a band is playing 
We'll go hip-hurrah-ing 
And we'll turn things upside down
Our heads will grow dizzy 
Keeping headwaiters busy
I promise you
We'll discover places that Columbus never found
Come on and drown your troubles in champagne bubbles
While we're going around the town

[2nd VERSE:]
[Ernesta:] I'd like to go and see the town a bit
[Flint:] I'd like to be where they're all doing it
[Hardacre:] I'd like to listen to the latest hit
[Steele:] I'd run a mile or two just for a smile or two
[Strange:] Let's go where they gladden the heart
[Lilliburn:] I'm with you whenever you start

[1st VERSE:]
There must be something nice about me 
Because the girls can't do without me
I refuse them but can't lose them 
They always follow me
I never dare to go out riding 
I've always got to keep in hiding
I'm a chappy most unhappy 
Just because the girls

[REFRAIN:]
They follow me around, all around, all around
Follow me around, all around, all around
I don't know why they hound me, surround me
Where ever I may be I can see two or three
Ev'ry other she wants to be on my knee
And any time they find me
They drag along behind me
It keeps me dodging in hallways
Because they always follow me around

[2nd VERSE:]
I'm followed by young girls good looking 
And even cooks who do their cooking
Leave their stoves and come in droves 
Demanding my autograph
The matinee I play on Wednesday 
Is what I've nick-named "My Old Hen's Day"
Each old maid is on parade 
And when they see me come

[1st VERSE:]
Dancing teacher, give us a chance
We came here to learn how to dance
That brand new dance they call the Fox Trot
The lovin' Fox Trot
If you'll kindly show us the way
Any price we're willing to pay
Take us each in turn 
We're all ready to learn

[REFRAIN:]
[Boys:] Dancing teacher show us how to do the Fox Trot
[Mrs. Castle:] You'll have to watch your step
[Boys:] Won't you come and show us how to do the Fox Trot?
[Mrs. Castle:] You'll have to watch your step

[Boys:] Tell us what to do
[Mrs. Castle:] You must follow me
[Boys:] Can we do it too?
[Mrs. Castle:] Very easily
[Boys:] Kindly show us
[Mrs. Castle:] Watch me, watch me

[Boys:]
That dance is simply great
And it's so up-to-date
It beats the Tango, One-Step
And the others we know so

Dancing teacher, once again
Show us how it's done and then
We'll do the Fox Trot the whole night long

[2nd VERSE:]
Dancing teacher, do it some more 
Glide us gently over the floor
Until we learn to dance the Fox Trot
The lovin' Fox Trot
Really it's a barrel of fun 
Though it's not so easily done
If you'll see us through 
We'll be doing it too

[Algy's VERSE:]
History proves 
Since the world first began
Wonderful things have been discovered by man
Though to discover has not been my plan
I'm a discoverer too 
Tho' I know my name
Won't be known to fame 
This much is true

[REFRAIN:]
Columbus discovered America
Hudson discovered New York

Benjamin Franklin discovered the spark
That Edison discovered would light up the dark

Marconi discovered the wireless telegraph 
Across the ocean blue

But the greatest discovery was
When you discovered me and I discovered you

[Stella's VERSE:]
History proves 
Since the world first began
Ev'rything great was not discovered by man
Girls can discover what men never can

I'm a discoverer too 
Tho' I'll never be
Known to history
This much is true

[1st VERSE:]
Strange, but there's a change 
In how the people walk these days
Yes! you must confess 
That ever since the dancing craze
Ev'rybody has a syncopated walk
Where it's in the air
You'll find them swaying as they go
Smile but all the while
You must admit that it is so
For they do, they do
If you don't think it's true

[REFRAIN:]
Look at 'em doin' it! Look at 'em doin' it!
That syncopated walk
Look at 'em doin' it! Look at 'em doin' it!
I know who introduced it

Wait'll he reaches you
Wait'll he teaches you
That syncopated walk
You'll be doing it too

Because it's done by ev'ryone
You'll find it's international
That irrational step

It's full of "Pep", full of "Pep"
And in the morning when they rise
For their morning exercise
They take a syncopated walk

[2nd VERSE:]
Say what e'er you may 
It's in the air without a doubt
You will do it too 
Before you know what you're about
You'll be walking with a syncopated walk
Don't you say you won't
Because you don't know what you say
Friend, you can depend
That it will strike you some fine day
E'er you know you'll go
If you don't think it's so

[1st VERSE:]
When I was a Baby
I used to sit on my Daddy's knee
When I was a school girl
The fellows always appealed to me
My Dad said "Don't scold her
She'll change when she's older"
But strange to say
To this very day
I've never changed

[REFRAIN:]
I love to have the boys around me
Around me all the time
I'm never happy till I'm with the men
Then I'm happy till we meet again
I simply couldn't live without them
There's something makes me wild about them
All kinds
The very large and very small kinds
I love to have them chasing me
Embracing me
All of the time

[2nd VERSE:]
I'm hoping for Heaven
But let me tell you in any case
If boys aren't up there
I want to go to the other place
I never will marry
A Tom, Dick or Harry
Just one, you see
Wouldn't do for me
I love them all

[1st VERSE:]
I'm getting tired of the glare and light
I've had enough of staying out at night
There's nothing in it, honey, honor bright
I'm through, all through
A little cottage in a One-Horse Town
That's where I'd like to go and settle down
I'd be as proud as if I wore a crown
If I had you

[REFRAIN:]
Come, let's settle down 
In some small country town
Away from all this care and strife

Far, far away from Cabarets
We'll stay among the Jays
And live the quiet simple life

And from the time the rooster calls 
I'll wear my overalls
And you'll wear a simple gingham gown

So if you're strong for a shower of rice
We could make a Paradise
Out of a One-Horse Town

[2nd VERSE:]
I love the city with its buildings tall
I love apartments with a great big hall
The place you speak of would be much too small
For me, sweetheart
I'd rather live upon Fifth Avenue
The simple life for me would never do
I really couldn't go away with you
When do we start?

[Stella:]
Aida
There's not a melody sweeter
But you'll be sweeter when we begin turning you into a rag
Aida
We're gonna chop up your meter
We're getting tired of you and so
Here's where we're going to hurdy gurdy Mister Verdi
Op'ra
You always sound like an uproar
And that's the reason it's not a sin turning you into a rag
You'll soon be placed with the popular taste
For we're going to rearrange you, change you to a rag

[Ernesta:]
Dreamy
La Boheme
We will hesitate to you
Tho' we aggravate Puccini
He may
Roar and scream
Nevertheless we will hesitate to La Boheme

[Algy:]
Op'ra lovers if you'll grant us your pardon
We'll take the Garden scene from Faust

[Hardacre:]
And we'll rearrange the flower song
And call it our song

[Algy:]
Because it's melody makes a dreamy Maxixe
Op'ra lovers if you do not approve of what we remove of Faust
Just "roust" and occupy back seats while we maxixe
To the Flower song from Faust

[Birdie:]
Everybody's doing it so we'll do the tango 
To the strains of Carmen
O'er the floor
Let ev'ry Carmen take a Toreador
And throw her arms around him while they go dancing
To that entrancing melody
There's something in the rhythm of that refrain 
That suits us perfectly
That's the reason we do the Tango to
The Carmen melody

[REFRAIN:]
Oh, you Pagliacci
You make a wonderful one-step a barrel of fun-step 
And so before we're through
We'll make a one-step out of you
We like you Pagliacci
Because your melody mellow 
By Leon Cavallo 
Affords us something new 
And so we'll one-step to you

[Verdi:] Please don't rag my melody
[Chorus:] We hate to tantalize you but we mean to modernize you
[Verdi:] Let my Rigoletto be
[Chorus:] We want you syncopated even though we know you hate it
[Verdi:] Tell me why you pick on me
[Chorus:] Because you're out of fashion, syncopation is our passion
[Verdi:] Really I'm as mad as a man can be
[Chorus:] So are we, so are we
[Verdi:] You know it's wrong
[Chorus:] What's wrong?  What's wrong?
[Verdi:] To change my song
[Chorus:] Your song is wrong
[Verdi:] 'Twill drive me mad
[Chorus:] Too bad, too bad
[Verdi:] You'll have to stop!
[Chorus:] No!  No!  No!  No!
[Verdi:] I ask you not to rag my melody
[Chorus:] You'll never recognize it from the way that we'll disguise it
[Verdi:] Tell me why, oh, why does it have to be

[Chorus:]
We're growing weary of your dreary little melody
That's why we play it the way it ought to be

[Verdi:] You needn't bother, I would rather you would let it be
[Chorus:] There's nothing to it, we'll do it easily
[Verdi:] Please don't
[Chorus:] We will
[Verdi:] Don't rag my Rigoletto
[Chorus:] We will
[Verdi:] Again I say
[Chorus:] What do you say?  What do you say?
[Verdi:] You'll have to stop
[Chorus:] No!
[Verdi:] Yes!
[Chorus:] No!
[Verdi:] Yes!
[Chorus:] No!
[Verdi:] Yes!
[Chorus:] No!
[Verdi:] Yes!
[Chorus:] No!
[Verdi:] You'll have to stop
[Chorus:] No!  No!  No!  No!
[Verdi:] Why are you tired of my melody
[Chorus:] We hate to pay admission for your dreary composition
[Verdi:] It doesn't sound the same to me
[Chorus:] You'll notice in a minute that we put some ginger in it
[Verdi:] You have changed the harmony
[Chorus:] You must admit it's sweeter even though we changed the meter
[Verdi:] Won't you spare my poor Rigoletto

[Chorus:] 
Oh, you know, it's slow and so
We'll sprinkle on your melody a bit of originality

[Verdi:] Kindly spare it
[Chorus:] We will tear it
[Verdi:] Don't you dare it
[Chorus:] You must bear it
[Verdi:] Stop!
[Chorus:] We're going to rag it
[Verdi:] Stop!
[Chorus:] We're going to rag it
[Verdi:] Stop!
[Chorus:] We're going to rag it
[Verdi:] Stop!
[Chorus:] We're going to rag it
[Verdi:] No!
[Chorus:] Rag, rag, rag, rag your Rigoletto
[Verdi:] No!

[Chorus:] 
Oh, you Pagliacci
You make a wonderful one-step a barrel of fun-step 
And so before we're through
We'll make a one-step out of you
We like you Pagliacci
Because your melody mellow 
By Leon Cavallo 
Affords us something new 
And so we'll one-step to you

[1st VERSE:]
When you've packed your grip for a homeward trip
And you've started for the train
There's a feeling grand of a happy brand
That you really can't explain
All aboard you hear with a welcome ear
As the train speeds o'er the ground
There's a happiness that you can't express 
When you're homeward bound

[REFRAIN:]
Happy, happy, happy, happy 
When you're homeward bound, homeward bound
That's the time you love the rattle 
Of the choo-choo hound, o'er the ground
Doggone, how lovely it feels 
To hear those rattling wheels
It's the grandest kind of sound
All aboard, all aboard, step lively
Happy, happy, happy, happy 
When you're homeward bound, homeward bound
As you travel on your way
The rhythm of the engine seems to say
We're getting nearer to it
We're getting nearer to it
When you're homeward bound

[2nd VERSE:]
I have tried to doze but my eyes won't close
Can't you guess the reason why?
When the clock strikes ten, I'll be home again
Never more to say Goodbye
I don't like the jar of the Pullman car
As it speeds along the ground
Still a Pullman berth is the best on earth 
When you're homeward bound

[1st VERSE:]
A married couple stepped one night 
Upon a Pullman train
It near drove them insane
To hear the man explain
An upper berth for both of you 
Is all that we can spare
And so if you don't care
You both may sleep up there
They tumbled in that upper berth 
At ten o' clock that night
And soon the porter heard somebody 
Yell with all their might

[1st REFRAIN:]
Move over, move over 
Move over, over, over
This berth is much too small
I'll fall I fear 
I'll tumble out, in, under
Just like a roar of thunder
Can't you see you're crowding me
Move over, my dear

[2nd VERSE:]
The other people in the train 
Yelled out "For goodness sake!
That awful noise you make
Is keeping us awake"
But just the same they kept it up
And while they moved around
We heard an awful sound
The berth came tumbling down
They fell upon a fellow who 
Was in the lower berth
He woke up suddenly and yelled for 
All that he was worth

[2nd REFRAIN:]
Move over, move over 
Move over, over, over
The man began to shout 
Get out of here
The porter started grinning
He shouted "Seventh Inning!"
They stretched and then cried out again
Move over, my dear

[1st VERSE:]
The diff'rent lays of nowadays
All set my brain a whirl
They're not the kind of songs they sang
When mother was a girl
Your spoony rags and coony drags
All made my poor heart ache
Bring back the rhymes of olden times
And just for old times sake

[REFRAIN:]
Won't you play a simple melody
Like my mother sang to me
One with good old fashioned harmony
Play a simple melody

[2nd VERSE:]
In days of yore, before the war
When hearts now old were young
At home each night by firelight
Those dear old songs were sung
Sweet melodies, their memories
Around my heart still cling
That's why I long to hear a song
Like mother used to sing

[rag VERSE:]
I don't care for longhaired musicians
With their classy melodies
They have lots of highbrow ambitions
But their music doesn't please
Give me something snappy and popular
The kind that darkies play
Lots of rhythm 
And I go with 'em
That's why I say

[rag REFRAIN:]
Musical Demon
Set your honey a-dreamin'
Won't you play me some rag
Just change that classical nag
To some sweet beautiful drag
If you will play from a copy
Of a tune that is choppy
You'll get all my applause
And that is simply because
I want to listen to rag

[the two refrains are sung in counterpoint]

[1st VERSE:]
Down in the land of the Argentine
That's where you'll see the fandango
Done in a way that you've never seen
That's where they started the tango
But outside of their dancing
It's a land of entrancing
Romancing as well

[REFRAIN:]
Come to the land of the Argentine
Where ev'ry girl is a Tango Queen
And ev'ry boy is a star with his guitar
He can play it till you get a thrill with ev'ry bar
You haven't lived till you've gone and seen
The sunny home of the tambourine
Where the Spanish Romeos and their Juliets
Lovey dovey to the tune of their castanets
I'm pretty certain that you'll be keen
About the land of the Argentine

[2nd VERSE:]
Down in the land of the Argentine
Home of the fair Senorita
They are the loveliest ever seen
No girl could ever be sweeter
'Neath the wonderful moonlight
Ev'ry night is a June night
And spoon night as well

[1st VERSE:]
Talk about your Arabian nights
I must admit they're grand
But if you long for wonderful sights
Come down to Dixie land
That's the dearest place of all
Listening to the crickets call
When the evening shadows fall
Down in Dixie land

[REFRAIN:]
Night time down in Dixie land
Darkies strolling hand in hand
Southern melodies
Floating on the breeze
Let me tell you it's grand
For when you hear those darkies harmonize
Tears of gladness fill your eyes
Baritones and Basses
Lounging round the places
Dixie land embraces the happiest of races
All you see is smiling faces
When it's night time in Dixie land

[2nd VERSE:]
Through the air float the wonderful tunes 
Of Mister Whippoorwill
On the ground dance the bow-legged coons
They simply can't keep still
Vet'rans of the civil war
Telling stories by the score
How they fought in sixty-four
Down in Dixie land

[1st VERSE:]
[Lilliburn:] I couldn't love you if I tried for years
[Ernesta:] I never asked you to
[Lilliburn:] I think that you're the cause of all my fears
[Ernesta:] I think the same of you
[Lilliburn:] There's quite a lot I despise about you
[Ernesta:] I'm very sorry that we met
[Lilliburn:] I'll get along very well without you
[Ernesta:] You'd be very easy to forget

[REFRAIN:]
[Lilliburn:] I hate the very ground you walk upon
[Ernesta:] I hate your great big eyes of blue
[Lilliburn:] I hate the very phone you talk upon
[Ernesta:] I don't give a rap for you
[Lilliburn:] I hope you never do
[Ernesta:] I hate the color of your curley hair
[Lilliburn:] I hate the clothes you wear all through
[Ernesta:] Then besides I must hate someone
And it might as well be you

[2nd VERSE:]
[Lilliburn:] You're not the girl I'd want to be my wife
[Ernesta:] I'd never marry you
[Lilliburn:] You don't mean anything in my young life
[Ernesta:] I never wanted you
[Lilliburn:] I hate your dress just because you wear it
[Ernesta:] I hate the place where you reside
[Lilliburn:] Don't ever fret, you will never share it
[Ernesta:] Rest assured I'll never walk inside

[1st VERSE:]
In the heart of Cairo, the Sultan one day
Nearly lost his life when his horse ran away
Pat McCann, an Irishman, who happened to be there
Stopped the horse and saved the Sultan's life by a hair
The Sultan said "I'll give you anything I can afford"
Patrick answered "If you want to give me a reward

[REFRAIN:]
Lock me in your harem and throw away the key
Let me cuddle-uddle up to Rosie and May
Let me see the fat one who dances all the day
My eyes were made for seeing
Honest, I'm a human being
Down in your harem
There's Rosie, Josie, Posie 
And I know that you could spare 'em
So won't you let me stay
Locked in the harem with the keys thrown away 

[2nd VERSE:]
When the Sultan brushed off his clothes and could speak
He replied "You're welcome to stay for a week"
Pat walked in the harem with a smile from ear to ear
Tho' the Sultan said a week, he stayed for a year
The morning after Pat came home his wife began to weep
He could not explain why he was singing in his sleep

[1st VERSE:]
[Ernesta:] Tell me all about the game of love 
All about the love I'm dreaming of
[Flint:] Ah, go on, ah, go on
I believe you're only fooling
[Ernesta:] I'm so very stupid at that game
Stupid Mister Cupid never came
[Flint:] Ah, go on, ah, go on
I'm afraid you need no schooling
[Ernesta:] I'd like to take a lesson from you
[Flint:] Just tell me what you want me to do

[1st REFRAIN:]
[Ernesta:] Lead me, oh, lead me to love
[Flint:] Get away, get away, for I'm on to you
[Ernesta:] Come be my own turtle dove
[Flint:] Not today, not today, you will never do

[Ernesta:] Come here and Romeo me
[Flint:] I fear that you don't know me
[Ernesta:] I'll learn if you just show me how
[Flint:] Now?
[Ernesta:] Yes!
[Flint:] No!

[Ernesta:] Please help a poor lovesick miss
[Flint:] Let me look, let me look till I find a cure
[Ernesta:] I've never yet had a kiss
[Flint:] Get the hook, get the hook, she's an amateur

[Ernesta:] Loved I must be, dear
[Flint:] Why pick on me, dear?
[Ernesta:] Lead me
[Flint:] Go on
[Ernesta:] I want to be loved

[2nd VERSE:]
[Ernesta:] Take me in your arms and call me dear
Whisper little nothings in my ear
[Flint:] Don't you dare, don't you dare
Take advantage of a stranger
[Ernesta:] Listen to a maiden's earnest plea
Won't you come and flirt with lovesick me
[Flint:] I'm afraid, I'm afraid
I'm afraid to flirt with danger
[Ernesta:] I'd like to know just what it's about
[Flint:] I'll show you if the lights will go out

[2nd REFRAIN:]
[Ernesta:] Lead me, oh, lead me to love
[Chorus:] Give her a kiss, give her a kiss while the lights are low
[Ernesta:] Come be my own turtle dove
[Chorus:] Watch your step, watch your step or you'll stub your toe

[Ernesta:] I'm sure when you will know me
You'll want to Romeo me
Come over here and show me how
[Flint:] Now?
[Ernesta:] Yes!
[Flint:] No!

[Ernesta:] Please help a poor lovesick miss
[Chorus:] Better look, better look till you find a cure
[Ernesta:] I've never yet had a kiss
[Chorus:] Get the hook, get the hook, she's an amateur

[Ernesta:] Kiss me, I'm anxious
[Flint:] Not while I'm conscious
[Ernesta:] Lead me
[Flint:] Come on
[Ernesta:] I want to be loved

[1st VERSE:]
Far away out west in Texas
By the Rio Grande
There's a ranch of many acres on the prairie land
And I want you to be knowing
That's exactly where I'm going
In just a day or so
You'll see a satchel in my hand

[REFRAIN:]
I got-a go back, I got-a go back
I got-a go back to dear old Texas
To the ranch I left behind 
And the girl who's on my mind
I couldn't remain, I'm taking a train
The Southern Pacific bound for Texas
I'm simply aching to skeedaddle
Upon a horse without a saddle
And ev'ry letter that I get from Texas
Is covered with a lot of Xes
I got-a go back, I got-a go back
To the girl I left behind

[2nd VERSE:]
Where the western sun is blazing
By the Rio Grande
I can see the cattle grazing on the prairie land
And it fills me with a yearning
That I ought to be returning
If you were ever there
I'm pretty sure you'd understand

[VERSE:]
Subway Guards and Motormen
Congregated once again
At the Streetcar Conductor's annual ball
Just watch them dancing 'round the slippery floor
As they did the year before
While the band is playing
Those subway guards are saying

[REFRAIN:]
Watch your step! watch your step!
Hear those conductors all shout
Watch your step! watch your step!
As they go dancing about

They're such a jolly mob
That crosstown trolley mob
Soon they'll all be drinking fine Rhine wine

Look at the fellows who collect your fare
See them there 
Having the time of their lives
One and all at the ball
Dancing around with their wives

See the children that they bring up 
On the nickels they forget to ring up
And while the band is playing
They are saying "Watch your step!"