Track Title:               Pirates of Penzance:  I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major General
Album Title:               Opera for People Who Hate Opera, disc d
Prime Artist:              Gilbert & Sullivan

Orchestra:                 Rochester Philharmonic Orchestra and Chorus


Lyrics:
          I am the very model of a modern Major-General,
          I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral,
          I know the kings of England, and I quote the fights
               historical
          From Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical;
          I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters
               mathematical,
          I understand equations, both the simple and
               quadratical,
          About binomial theorem I'm teeming with a lot o' news,
          With many cheerful facts about the square of the
               hypotenuse.

ALL:      With many cheerful facts, etc.

GENERAL:  I'm very good at integral and differential calculus;
          I know the scientific names of beings animalculous:
          In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
          I am the very model of a modern Major-General.

ALL:      In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
          He is the very model of a modern Major-General.

GENERAL:  I know our mythic history, King Arthur's and Sir
               Caradoc's;
          I answer hard acrostics, I've a pretty taste for
               paradox,
          I quote in elegiacs all the crimes of Heliogabalus,
          In conics I can floor peculiarities parabolous;
          I can tell undoubted Raphaels from Gerard Dows and
               Zoffanies,
          I know the croaking chorus from the Frogs of
               Aristophanes!
          Then I can hum a fugue of which I've heard the music's
               din afore,
          And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense
               Pinafore.

ALL:      And whistle all the airs, etc.

GENERAL:  Then I can write a washing bill in
               Babylonic cuneiform,
          And tell you ev'ry detail of Caractacus's uniform:
          In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
          I am the very model of a modern Major-General.

ALL:      In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
          He is the very model of a modern Major-General.

GENERAL:  In fact, when I know what is meant by "mamelon" and
               "ravelin",
          When I can tell at sight a Mauser rifle from a javelin,
          When such affairs as sorties and surprises I'm more
               wary at,
          And when I know precisely what is meant by
               "commissariat",
          When I have learnt what progress has been made in
               modern gunnery,
          When I know more of tactics than a novice in a nunnery-
               -
          In short, when I've a smattering of elemental strategy,
          You'll say a better Major-General has never sat a gee.

ALL:      You'll say a better Major-General, etc.

GENERAL:  For my military knowledge, though I'm plucky and
               adventury,
          Has only been brought down to the beginning of the
               century;
          But still, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
          I am the very model of a modern Major-General.

ALL:      But still, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
          He is the very model of a modern Major-General.


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