Track Title:               Gee, Officer Krupke

Album Title:               The Songs of West Side Story
Prime Artist:              Salt-N-Pepa
Lyrics by:                 Stephen Sondheim
Music by:                  Leonard Bernstein

Vocal:                     Lisa (Left Eye) Lopes
Vocal:                     The Jerky Boys
Vocal:                     Def Jef
Vocal:                     Paul Rodriguez

Producer:                  David Pack

Lyrics:
KRUPKE
(spoken)
Hey, you!

A-RAB
(spoken)
Who me?

KRUPKE
(spoken)
Yeah, you!

A-RAB
(spoken)
Why it is Officer Krupke, Baby John.

BABY JOHN
(spoken)
Top of the evening, Officer Krupke.

KRUPKE
(spoken)
I'll crack the top of your skulls if you
punks don't stop when I whistle.

SNOWBOY
(spoken)
Ya see, cops believe everything they
read in the papers.

ACTION
(spoken)
To them we ain't human. We're cruddy
juvenile delinquents. So that's what we give 'em.

SNOWBOY(imitating Krupke)
(spoken)
Hey, you!

ACTION
(spoken)
Me, Officer Krupke?

SNOWBOY
(spoken)
Yeah, you! Gimme one good reason
for not dragging ya down the station house, ya
punk.

ACTION
Dear kindly Sergeant Krupke,
You gotta understand,
It's just our bringin' up-ke
That gets us out of hand.
Our mothers all are junkies,
Our fathers all are drunks.
Golly Moses, natcherly we're punks!

ACTION and QUARTET
Gee, Officer Krupke, we're very upset;
We never had the love that every child oughta get.
We ain't no delinquents,
We're misunderstood.
Deep down inside us there is good!

ACTION
There is good!

ALL
There is good, there is good,
there is untapped good.
Like inside, the worst of us is good.

SNOWBOY (imitating Krupke)
(spoken)
That's a touchin'
good story.

ACTION
(spoken)
Lemme tell it to the world!

SNOWBOY ("Krupke")
(spoken) Just tell it to the judge. ACTION Dear kindly Judge, your Honor, My parents treat me rough. With all their marijuana, They won't give me a puff. They didn't wanna have me, But somehow I was had. Leapin' lizards, that's why I'm so bad! DIESEL ("Judge") Right! Officer Krupke, you're really a square; This boy don't need a judge, he needs an analyst's care! It's just his neurosis that oughta be curbed. He's psychologic'ly disturbed! ACTION I'm disturbed! ALL We're disturbed, we're disturbed, We're the most disturbed, Like we're psychologic'ly disturbed. DIESEL ("Judge") (spoken) In the opinion of this court, this child is depraved on account he ain't had a normal home. ACTION (spoken) Hey, I'm depraved on account I'm deprived! DIESEL ("Judge") (spoken) So take him to a headshrinker. ACTION My father is a bastard, My ma's an S.O.B. My grandpa's always plastered, My grandma pushes tea. My sister wears a mustache, My brother wears a dress. Goodness gracious, that's why I'm a mess! A-RAB ("Psychiatrist") Yes! Officer Krupke, you're really a slob. This boy don't need a doctor, just a good honest job. Society's played him a terrible trick, Und sociologic'ly he's sick! ACTION I am sick! ALL We are sick, we are sick, We are sick sick sick, Like we're sociologically sick! A-RAB ("Psychiatrist") (spoken) In my opinion, this child don't need to have his head shrunk at all. Juvenile delinquency is purely a social disease! ACTION (spoken) Hey, I got a social disease! A-RAB ("Psychiatrist") (spoken) So take him to a social worker! ACTION
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