Track Title:               Uncle Walter
Album Title:               Ben Folds Five
Prime Artist:              Ben Folds Five

Producer:                  Caleb Southern
Written by:                Ben Folds
Lyrics:
Uncle Walter

                 Your Uncle Walter's going on and on
                 Bout everything he's seen and done
                 The voice of 50 years experience
                 Drunk, watching the television
                 You know he's been around the world
                 Last night he flew to Baghdad
                 In his magical armchair
                 Cigarettes and a six-pack, he just got back
                 Now the spit's flying everywhere
                 Hey, hey, hey, hey (Your Uncle Walter's going on and on)
                 You're back so late (Where did you go that you were
                 gone so long)
                 How could you leave me here so long
                 With Uncle Walter
                 Your Uncle Walter saw who fired the shots
                 He drove his chair in the cavalcade
                 He's flown from South Africa
                 To countries where
                 They beat themselves on the backs with chains
                 There was a fleet of battleships
                 And 1 reclining chair
                 Headed north on the Arabian Sea
                 Now he's back and he'll tell us what
                 He and his oldest boy Blair
                 Are getting rich with their mail order scheme
                 Oh, oh, oh, oh
                 We're glad you're home
                 But how could you leave me here so long with Uncle
                 Walter
                 Your Uncle Walter told me
                 Everything he'd do if he was president
                 Oh what a perfect world
                 This world would be
                 If he were president now

                 And he sees the children
                 Smoking pot
                 He knows that in a moment
                 They'll be shooting up heroin
                 Teardrops in his armchair
                 A fifty minute lecture
                 And tobacco juice rolling down his chin
                 Hey, hey, hey, hey
                 You're back so late
                 How could you leave me here so long
                 With Uncle Walter

                 By Ben Folds


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