Track Title:               Methodist Coloring Book
Album Title:               Metaphysical Graffiti
Prime Artist:              Dead Milkmen
Producer:                  Brian (Bongwizard) Beattie

You've got a Methodist coloring book
And you color really well
But don't color outside the lines
Or God will send you to hell
'Cause God hates war
And God hates crime
But He really hates people
Who color outside the lines
You've got a Methodist coloring book
Don't color outside the lines
'Cause if God doesn't strike you with lightning
He'll at least make you go blind
Good people get sent to the attic
Bad people will roast in the cellar
But there's a special kind of hell
For those who just won't learn to color
God is gracious, God is good
Let us color in his book
God wears cotton, God wears rayon
He can mend a broken crayon
God is honest, He don't take payola
Let's all thank him for our Crayolas
You've got a Methodist coloring book...

       Now, you talk about that Bohagus boy.  You know him,
        Billy Bohagus?  They found him last week out behind
        the barn with his math teacher, his Scout leader,
        and the local minister, and that boy had the nerve
        to say that it was part of a biology project.  We
        killed him; had no other choice