Track Title: Now Everybody's Me Album Title: Metaphysical Graffiti Prime Artist: Dead Milkmen Producer: Brian (Bongwizard) Beattie Lyrics: Everybody hates Edie Brickell All my favorite shows are on TV All the restaurants serve my favorite food 'Cause now everybody's me Now my apartment's really crowded 'Cause I live there and I'm everybody Everybody's sleeping with my girl But, hey, everybody's me CHORUS Now everybody's me Now everybody's me Now everybody's me Now everybody's me Everybody's watching "Married with Children" Everybody's into beastiality The stores stopped selling Amstel Light 'Cause now everybody's me Everybody loves Charles Manson Everybody wants to set him free Everybody's on the parole board 'Cause now everybody's me CHORUS I had to put an end to war It didn't make a lot of sense to shoot at myself No moe Christians, Jews, Muslims or Amway Salesmen Just a whole planet of TV addicts They had to lower all the basketball nets 'Cause everybody's only 5 foot 3 And everybody likes to dress like a monkey 'Cause now everybody's me Now, I understand that some of you don't know Sour Jane, so I'll tell you a little bit about her. She's a lesbian Eskimo midget albino. She went to college and she started the Lesbian Eskimo Albino Student Union, and four hundred people signed up. There they were, hundreds of 'em, lesbian midget Eskimo left-handed albinos. Did I mention the fact that she was left-handed? She's left-handed, alright. Girl's got some strange hobbies. One of her hobbies is lowering children into open manholes, which is kinda difficult 'cause a lot of the children are taller than her, her being a midget and everything ...or her being a left-handed midget...or her being a left-handed lesbian midget...or her being a left- handed lesbian albino midget...or her being a lesbian left-handed albino midget Eskimo...life can be really difficult on that young lady. She bit me once, you know. Right here, you see this? Left a mark. She was lowerin' a friend of mine's kid into the sewer, and I run up, tryin' to stop her. I said, "Listen there, you lesbian midget left-handed albino! You stop right there!" And she bit me. I'm afraid I'm gonna...I'm gonna turn into a lesbian left-handed midget albino when the moon is full. Oh my God, the moon is full tonight! I can feel myself shrinking! I can feel myself becoming left- handed! I can feel myself getting the urge to build an igloo! I can feel my skin turning white and my eyes getting red! I can feel...I can feel the urge ...to buy a Suzanne Vega album!! AAAARRRRGGHHHHH!!!!!! NOOO! NNNNNOOOO!!!! NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! Oh, I'm okay; it's just gas.