Track Title:               Thirteen Collar
Album Title:               Internet Contributor III - Frank Sinatra

Prime Artist:              Unknown
Lyrics by:                 Schuyler Greene
Music by:                  Jerome Kern   (J. David K.)
From the Show:             Very Good Eddie  1915 (S)

Sang by the characters of Eddie and Georgina

I'm a peaceful little person,
But peace is sometimes worse'n
All the wars combined,
That histories recall,
I've been pushed around and kicked at,
Stepped upon, abused, and picked at
Till I wonder that I'm anything at all.

Even little flies that flutter
>From the sugar to the butter
Command respect because they carry germs:
Their importance seems to teach us,
In this world of all sized creatures,
Half are robins and the other half are worms.

When you wear a 19 collar,
And a size 11 shoe
You can lead a pirate crew,
Smoke and drink and swear and chew;
But you have to lock ambition up,
And throw away the key,
When your collar's number thirteen
And your shoes are number three.

When we walk, my wife just kinda drags
Me by the hand behind her,
Like a captive minnow on a dangling hook,
And the passersby that spy me,
Stop and pitifully eye me,
With that sympathetic "Oh-that-poor-thing" look.

Every dog that I meet that's muzzled
Looks at me with such a puzzled
Air of injured pride and insolent disdain,
That I seem to gaze through leather
Straps securely sewed together
And I feel Georgina tugging at the chain.

When you wear a 19 collar and a size 11 shoe,
"Bear" and "Lion" are a few
Of the names conferred on you;
But you're classified with "Dachshunds"
Tiny "Poms" and "Pekinese,"
When your collar's number is thirteen
And you shoes are number threes.

Oh!  There you are, Edwin.  Now, fix your tie.
Pull up your socks - and do you have the luggage checks?
Oh!  No, you don't.  I do.
Now, I'll just go make sure that the steward gets
All our bags on board.
Edwin, come along - don't dawdle!

When you wear a 19 collar and a size 11 shoe,
There's no end or limit to all the great things you can do.
But the world is one big rat trap and your just a piece of cheese
When your collar's number thirteen and your shoes are number threes.

Edwin, are you coming?

Contributed by Carlene Bogle