Track Title:               I'm A Mountie Who Never Got His Man

Prime Artist:              Bert Lahr
Lyrics by:                 Otto Harbach     (b. Otto Abels Hauerbach)
Lyrics by:                 Oscar Hammerstein II     (O. Greeley Clendenning H. II)
Music by:                  Rudolf Friml

From the Film:             Rose Marie  1954 (M)
Oh I'm on the trail
I'm over hill and dale
And I ride, ride, ride as only I can
But, oh the shame
Everybody knows my name
I'm the mountie who never got his man

There's a killer at large
The bugle sounds the charge
To the saddles, men, and give a brave account!
But what remorse
For I can't get on my horse
I'm a mountie who cannot even mount

As I ride through every town and county
Little boys yell, "Look Ma, That's a mountie?"
My buddies mock me as I sally forth
To you, I'm McCorkle of the mounties
To them, I'm chinook of the north

I've been on the force
Even longer than my horse
If you wonder why they've kept me here so long
Though I can't track men through the snows
I'm the only mountie who knows
Every word of the mountie's marching song

For we march, march, march
And we ride, ride, ride
And we march and we ride against the foe
It's a long, long way
To icy Hudson Ba-y-y-y
So I don't think that I will go

[Bert - Spoken]
You can laugh, but once I almost got my man,

[Marjorie - Spoken]
Why don't you tell us about it, Barney

[Bert - Spoken]
Well, it was the year of the Caribou famine.
Saskatoon Dan was his name.
He came from one of the finger lakes,
So we called him Pinky,
He was a mean, treacherous hombre
Always sayin' things behind your back--
Like, "Stick 'em up."
Now Dan was stuck on a little Eskimo girl
Called Ogunda.
And one day, Dan had too much whale meat,
And went blubber-happy.
So that night, he snuck into Ogunda's igloo,
But she repulsed him.
But Dan didn't care,
'Cause he was mighty repulsive, too.
Well sir, it seems Ogunda
Was sweet on another eskimo called Fongalanga.
So in a fit of jealousy, Dan cut off her nose.
You see, he didn't want her kissin' anyone else
Yes, he cut off her nose, and away he ran
So they sent me out to get Saskatoon Dan.

[Bert - Singing]
So I march, march, march
And I ride, ride, ride
A-lookin' for Saskatoon Dan
I ain't lookin' for that little bluebird
That lives on the hill
Like a beguine that was never began
I'm the mountie
Who never got his man
Or woman
I'm the mountie
Who never got his m-a-a-a-n

Contributed by Carlene Bogle